OK, since you all asked for this, here it is… the Ask Dad Column. I will attempt to do my best Ann Landers of Blogdom. So, go ahead, ask away, the door is always open and I do not charge five cents like Lucy Van Pelt.

So, first bit of advice: If you are feeling down, blog about it. I find that this bit of self analysis is good for most people. It allow the id and the ego to get together and figure things out.

Second Bit of advice: Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar unless you are Bill Clinton. Most of the time a Banana is just a banana unless you need a bit of help in that department.

Today was one of those days, you know the kind where you get what you need done early and have a bit of extra time to think. And while I was thinking I kept doing other things rather than think about this question because I thought it was a no brainer. Then I got to thinking…

For me, at the ripe old age of forty, do I really want the head over heals blinding type of love in my life? I have had that, and recently, and I am not sure that is for me any more. The blinding aspect for me has been out weighted a more mature, thought-out love that I want.

So what do I want? Well, I want passion, compassion, companionship, understanding and a partner who will compliment me in my life and to whom I compliment in theirs. Someone I can be me with, faults an all, and not have to worry about putting on a façade. Someone I can care for and be cared for by. Someone to laugh with in good times, cry with in bad times, and someone who will listen to me when I need to vent and understand my cockeyed points of view, or is not understand them, at least acknowledge them. There is more, but they are all small points and not worth writing down.

Is this so out of line for my life? Am I not deserving of this in my life? I sometimes wonder. I know that I am with someone right now who covers all these needs, and I am happier now than I have been in a long time. But I am not sure she feels the same way. I am not sure if my own insecurities will let me understand that she feels the same way for me even if she says she does. She has said as much, but maybe I have to learn to be more accepting.

God I am screwed up. Why do I analyze everything. I have to stop that.

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First off, I am not gay, and I know that as I have done my exploring in that area and I know that it is not for me. But following up on the last entry “Wolf Call”, I got to thinking that the ubiquitous whistle hear at construction site is really a form of male appreciation. But here was the thought, can a man appreciate a man in the same or similar way?

I would bet that while women are jealous of each other in regards to looks, there is a bit of appreciation between women about those looks. For example, I do not hear or see any problem between women who remark on other women. It is not considered gay or perverted, it just seems to be accepted. But for men that is different. Why?

I will go on record as to say that I admired a man for his looks recently. He was a strong man of Navaho descent and had all the powerful attributes of Native Americans. He was very impressive in stature and I would say that looking at him most women would have drooled all over themselves to get to know him, he was that impressive. I was impressed. Does this make me gay?

To that I would have to say no. He impressed me on a physical level in terms of his physique, but not sexually. You can (or at least I would hope) have an appreciation for the human body regardless of gender. I grew up with this notion instilled by my parents and I think it was good. But if I tell my friends or acquaintances about this I risk being mocked as gay. I know, I tried and it was laughed at. I got “He’s a ‘Pretty Man’ man” or “You gay man?” or such till I explained.

I would have to say that it is a matter of insecurity in ones own gender role that prompts such remarks from others. Not mine, their insecurity. They do not know how to handle it so lash out at what they would see as a flaw in themselves if they appraised one in their own gender like this. But do women have the same issues? I do not know.

Speaking of sexism, one of the things us guys just love to do is that little whistle as a good looking woman is walking down the street. The “whoo hoo” of appreciation for what we see as a ‘‘prime piece of female flesh”. (Yeah, I know that seems degrading, but to us men, that is high praise in our crude Fred Flintstone minds.)

Do you women mind this? If I were a woman (and I know I am not since the last time I checked at the urinal a few minutes ago,) I do not think I would be offended. In fact I may be quite flattered. I know that I am always flattered when a woman remarks well on one of my physical attributes, so why shouldn’t a woman be equally flattered? This is total guy think, and again goes back to the Fred brain of “See something good, want something good”, and a good looking woman that much more so.

Besides, don’t’ women do the same thing? You know, “Umm Umm, look at that ass” or some such? If so, can’t we men do the same thing?

So women, next time you see me, you can whistle if you want. I might even wiggle my ass in return.

Is the tern “Gender Roles” such a bad thing these days? I sometimes think that it is seeing how everyone want to be equal in all things. So call me old fashion, but I still like the idea of gender roles.

By gender roles I mean specifically the not so blurred line between men and women. I do not intend that is to subordinate women to men, but rather to endear men to women a vice versa. But to be honest, I must take it from the changing role of women in today’s society.

Increasingly women are taking on the roles and positions of men, and while I do not have a problem with this, I do have a problem with them taking the roles on in the guise of men. If a woman wants to be a doctor or a lawyer, or any career that is usually thought of as a man position, why is it she changes her persona to a more masculine demeanor. Could she not fulfill the same role as a woman, with a woman sensibilities and decorum? Wouldn’t that be a refreshing change?

I was recently divorced and the lawyer I retained was female. She was very good and very competent and still distinctly female and that was not a problem. She did not try to tough it out as a woman in a mans role, but rather was herself and more powerful for it. The respect for her in and around the court was duly justified because she was such a good lawyer, but yet she was still every bit a woman, and you could not forget it. Now I am not saying she used feminine wiles in the court to accomplish her goals, but her style was markedly female without undue sexual reference. It was refreshing. She even let me hold the door for her.

On the other hand, men are increasingly less masculine in demeanor due to the reverse sexism that is pervading the work place. Company’s all have a policy in terms of conduct with the goal of the policies to cut down on sexism in the work place. These codes of conduct are slanted to men discriminating against women, but not necessarily the reverse (although as written it can be applied as such.) Men, when complaining about women to not get treated the same as if a woman were to complain about a man. In the latter case it is taken quite seriously, but the former is scoffed at. Why?

Why is simple, men are supposed to be stronger, in all ways and thus should be able to take a little harassment. If a man is raped by a woman (or women) and reports it to the police it is laughed at as an aberration, after all, how can a man be raped, he is strong, he could fight it off he were so inclined. But there are documented cases where this is the case. And if he were to report it and it was picked up by the DA and prosecuted, imagine the stigmata this guys is going to endure in public life. He will be violated and will let it go to forego the public ridicule that would accompany such a case. We all of course cry for the woman, and even congratulate her if she should kill her attacker. Imagine what would happen to a guy attacked as such and he killed his female attacker(s), he would be publicly castrated.

Women are increasingly bestowed with more seeming equality, yet there is not a level of equal social responsibility to go along with it. Again, why?

And again, simple, men and women are not the same. Physically far fewer women can perform on par with an equally trained male. Mentally, while women excel in certain areas, and men excel in others, these disciplines seldom overlap. Where women excel they are dominate, and where men have an edge, then lead the way. This is not wrong, just the way it is. Crossing the dominance areas is ok as well, assuming gender identity is maintained. Where we as a society get in trouble is when gender identity is blurred. Men taking on female aspects is upsetting to most (an often considered deviant) but the reverse is not true, thus the confusion.

Personally I do not mind a blend of these roles. In the workplace if women want to excel and take on a traditionally masculine role, so be it, but please be a woman. At home, I would prefer a more traditional set of gender roles. I am not saying the woman must be the domestic, but a woman in the home as a woman, and not the man she may assume in the work place for me is preferable. By the way, this does not excuse a man from his duties at home, but these duties end up being the more traditionally masculine home roles we may be used to.

A word about the “total equality” that so many women crave; One, are you willing to fight and die in a war on the front lines? If so, then why aren’t you? Women make up the majority of voters, you could change this thinking, but you will not. Two, do you expect the simple luxuries of being a woman, having a door opened for you, a chair pulled, being brought flowers, and so on? If so and you want total equality, then why do you not do the same for a man? When was the last time you held a door for a man, pulled his chair, bought him flowers or some such thing he may like? These courtesies are expected to women, and they should not be.  Can you name the last time you bought a man a gift just because? Three, when in the workplace do NOT exclaim discrimination because you are woman. This would not work for a man, and thus should not be claimed by you. If you are qualified and passed by a man, say that, and not that you are a woman. You should not have the bar of achievement lowered for you just because your gender is different. That is not equal, that is sexist and you are then not seeking equality, but superiority based on gender, and I can not see how any argument can save you there, since you would not take that argument from a man.

I expect I will get a lot of women saying that this whole entry is sexist, but is it really? The answer again is yes, it is totally sexist. Why? Simple, because I am a man, and this expresses a man views on a subject that innately sexist and would be no matter who wrote it. It would be impossible to write a fair and balanced entry on the subject, we live in a world of two sexes, thus, sexism is bound to be prevalent, and there is nothing wrong with that. Nothing at all.

“Here, let me get the door for you”, gladly.

I write what I feel, usually when I feel it and this I am writing now. Call it a suspicious mind, and maybe I am off base, but I hate it when things don’t add up. Little things for me when they are not right tend to niggle at my mind and I just have to know what is really going on.

This is the case today. I have things in my head, and when I remember, I dissect the situation and I look at it very closely. Things like inconsistency, incomplete information, lack of responses or responses unexpected spin in my brain and drive me on. You see it is all a puzzle, and my mind likes puzzles. Sometimes that is not so good.

Today it is a puzzle over an acquaintance and what is his true intent may be and where are things going. I have been given a lot of information (I am not going to get into specifics) but it does not seem to all add up. Certain actions are inconsistent with what I know is SOP, stories and time lines are not plausible and also not to SOP, and worst of all I get the feeling I am being lied to. This may be the worst part of all of it.

I would love to confront the person with all this “circumstantial evidence” but I hate to when important things are on the line. If I had proof that would be different, but for lack of proof I hold my tongue. I guess I can only hint at what I know and try to draw out the truth.

I hate this game, I really do. I guess that is why I value my relationships be as open and honest as possible because to turn my puzzle minded brain on loved ones would be real torture.

What do you do when your puzzle brain grips a puzzle it can’t solve?

Yes, it’s that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.  Here then, are the glorious winners.

Darwin Award Winners:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder.  He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again.  This time it worked..... 

And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company.  The company expecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself.  He tried the machine and lost a finger.  The chef’s claim was approved. 

3.  A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his Vehicle to find a woman had taken the space.  Understandably, he shot her. 

4.  After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped.  Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride.  He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days. 

5.  An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train.  When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit. 

6.  A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change.  When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided.  The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter.  The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15.
(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

7.  Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly.  He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.  So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window.  The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious.  The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas.  The whole event was caught on videotape. 

8.  As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran.  The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.  Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher.  They put him in the car and drove back to the store.  The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID.  To which he replied, “Yes, officer, that’s her.  That’s the lady I stole the purse from.”

9.  The Ann Arbour News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, demanded cash.
The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the cash register without a food order.  When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast .  The man, frustrated, walked away.  A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER! 

10.  When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.  Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage.  A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake.  The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had. 

In the interest of bettering human kind please share these with your friends and family ..  unless of course one of these 10 individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend.  In that case be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

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Ok, I know all my bloggers are looking out for my best interests and marking just about everything as adult, and while I appreciate that, it is not needed. Here is the formula that I use to mark something as adult:

1) The Icon is sexual, it show full breasts and nips, shows a penis, show a vagina, shows interaction with these body parts in some way. Note: A male or female buttock is ok to view.

2) An addition image falls in the above definition.

3) The language is graphic in description. The words describe an act(s) in explicit detail using words not generally allowed in polite conversation. Please note: the words “Sex, sexual, penis, vagina, ass, bum, intercourse, love, lovemaking, etc...” are generally not a reason to mark a post as adult.

Example 1: “It was a wonderful evening and we made love all night” would not be a reason to mark the entry as adult.

Example 2: “It was one fucking hell of a night and we screwed till she came all over my face” would be considered a reason to mark something as adult.

Note: Example 2 would fail the test because of “we screwed till she came all over my face” and not “fucking hell of a night”. The first part “fucking hell” is used for emphasis and not as pure description and is fine. However, “screwed till she came” is very graphic and an explicit act and thus would be marked adult.

Exception: As in the examples above and you are using the words as examples, you may indeed use them.

Talking about sex or sexuality is not a reason to mark an entry as adult. I think many of you are and that is ok, but you need not. I know this is a learning curve and we will all get it down. And if you are unsure about something, please do mark it as “Adult”.

So you all know, if I come across entries that I think are or and need not be marked adult I will change them back to normal. Also, I will be doing the same if it should be marked “Adult” and was not. In those cases I will contact the author and tell them of the change. The reason, if we present “Adult Material” to minors (and all unregistered users are minors) then I can loose my hosting ISP. And at the rate I am paying, I would be hard pressed to find another one.

So, consider your posts, I would think most do not need the “Adult” flag.

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