The wedding party was all there but one. Dad’s Dad-the best man- had died. The family, the friends, people who I had known since I was a child, people who I hade only met a few times but were names as familiar as my own came too. They had all come to help to celebrate, to lend a hand, to lend love. All these people were a part. Part of the creation of the reality of my parent’s lives: part of the support and love, sometimes the problem, sometimes the solution. They had come at other times to celebrate passages, births and deaths, weddings and graduations. My parents had done the same for them. Bound together by many threads, diverse, not all know to each other but there to say that Marie and Art had made a difference.

As I looked around at all these people, listened to the love and laughter it became apparent to me that my parent’s had fifty years together were shaped not only by each other but by these people as well. While my parent’s wedding anniversary was a celebration of their love for each other it was also a celebration made possible by this group. Had these people not existed, not formed and shared my parents lives-well- somehow their union was larger, more expansive because of all these people. Family, extended family, friends, co-workers, neighbors and church friends, though many had moved away they still came together. The web woven by my parent’s lives connected them all.

As I sat at my table I had a vision of all them all supporting Mom and Dad, lifting them up on a beautiful platform or bed with gilded fringe and flowers. These people lifted them up with out stretched arms in celebration of life, of love of a web well woven.

Today I got back another tune. The song is the most significant one in my life, and today while listening to it I realized how significant it was. I made the realization that I was living it. That this incredibly poignant song that I cherished because of the memory of my grandfather, who was more my father that my father ever was, was a model for my life in terms of how I treat people around me.

When you’re weary, feeling small,
When tears are in your eyes, I’ll dry them all.
I’m on your side, oh, when times get rough
And friends just can’t be found,

I do not know what it is about me, but when I see people in distress I do help them out if I can. This is especially true with lovers in my life. I want to clear the tears and comfort them and help them be all better. My true friends know that I will do anything I can for them. I will help them in any way I can. I will be there for them when they cannot find any other friends. Just like my grandfather did for me.

Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down.

I see things in life like a river, flowing around us and bringing change and sometimes strife for no reason other than life can suck at times. I want to be that bridge that helps my friends to cross over to better times.

When you’re down and out,
When you’re on the street,
When evening falls so hard, I’ll comfort you.
I’ll take your part, oh, when darkness comes
And pain is all around,

Cycles weave their way about us and this seems to be a time for me that the cycles are converging. An example of that is my best friend. For years I have wanted to help him and made offer after offer, but for a myriad of reasons, things never worked out for me to be able to help him in any truly significant way other than to offer my support, an ear, and a hopefully wise word when needed.

But just yesterday word came down and now my friend will be joining me in Las Vegas and I will be able to help him create a better life for himself and hopefully more happiness will be his. He deserves it, he has had a hard time over the past few years, and he is too good a person to deserve the shit he was dealing with, so now that may change, if we can keep from killing each other.

Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down.

Sometimes the river is not close at hand, and the bridge to be crossed is literally one of distance. I have tried so hard to bridge the distance of ones that I love, and again, for whatever reasons, this bridge is so much harder to cross. In my heart there are people that I connect with so intimately, people that I feel strongly for, but the bridge of distance is a bridge whose toll is one that cannot be easily paid. It is a physical bridge, it is a transition, it is leap of faith to join one over distance, and one that I want to help other with, but have been unsuccessful with. So now I will lay it down and know that I can try and offer to bridge things and hope to be there for those I want to be part of my life.

Sail on silver girl, sail on by.
Your time has come to shine,
All your dreams are on their way.
See how they shine, oh and when you need a friend,
I’m sailing right behind

Oh and this last stanza has hurt so badly. I do not know if she knows the truly deep love I held for her and the pain that I have gone through waiting for her, hoping she would be part of my life. Someone that I truly did want to be significant in my life. But my silver girl has sailed on by me, and her time has come to shine, but with someone else. Now I am right behind her, wishing her all the best, the smiles that she needs and I cannot provide, the love and comfort that will make her a complete and happy person. She crossed a bridge and I ended up being the troubled waters.

Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down.

But with this I realized now, that maybe I was not her troubled waters, but in fact her bridge to a fuller and better life. I was her transition from one life and hopefully to a better life. I do not know, I still have to make the final connections in my mind. I have to feel the emotional separation and follow the banks of troubled water to my next bridge.

But maybe there is not such a distance to travel for that. There may be a lover in the near distance. She may be waiting for me at the next bridge. She may be part pf my life now. She may be within my vision and I am but waiting for the blindness of the troubled waters to clear, my head to crest the surface of the flowing river and allow me to see with clarity what is there without the emotional waters to blind me.

We will see. Looks like the song is on repeat for me and ready to start again.

On occasion, it is my honor to read someone’s work and be asked to edit it and make suggestions. This was the case with the following story. It is meant as a children tale, but there may be much more there than meets the eye. It is so good that I thought that I would share it with everyone, with her permission of course.

On a hill, in a meadow for sale, was an unusual pair of trees. One was an oak and the other was a pine tree. They grew up together and were the best of friends.

In the afternoon they soaked up the sunshine content without saying a word but in the cool evening breeze they liked to talk to each other. Best of all were the rainy and windy days where they had the chance to dance. It was fair to say they enjoyed each other’s company.

That summer a work crew came to clear the meadow and trim Oaks’ branches. “This is why I like pine trees best.” said one of the men. “They grow straight and tall, keep their color year round and you don’t have to rake any leaves in the fall. Now that’s a tree really worth its roots!” The other man agreed.

Pine Tree stood up straight and proud and rattled his needles in the twilight breeze. They did not say much that evening, Oak felt bad.

As the chill of autumn set in, Pine noticed some yellow and red among Oaks’ leaves. “Here we go again, wild colors and then dull, bare branches.” More time passed as Oak revealed its’ brilliant colors.

Soon after, a couple stopped by the meadow to take some pictures. “Oh how beautiful. This oak is so bright and colorful; much nicer than the boring green of the pine tree all year.” The man turned to the woman, “Don’t you love the smell of leaves in the fall?” She felt the same way he did.

Oak rustled its’ leaves, spread its’ graceful limbs and beamed. “Humpf’ said Pine.

The next month was rainy and windy, but the two did not dance. “Oh you are shedding your dirty leaves all over me!” opined Pine. “Well if your branches weren’t so heavy with ugly sharp needles they wouldn’t catch them!” snapped Oak. The winter was very cold and silent as the snow set in.
Springtime brought new leaves for Oak and new needles for Pine. With the new growth came some robins looking for a place to nest.

“Make your home with me,” said Oak. “I will give you fresh new leaves for your nest.”

“No I’m the better tree!” said Pine. “My straight sturdy branches are already full of good needles, easier to weave into a proper nest.”

“No I’m better, your needles are all sticky!” said Oak.

“No, choose me, Oaks’ leaves will dry faster and become brittle,” said Pine.

“Oh my feathers and beak!” said one of the robins. “I think we will go somewhere more friendly.” The silence of the winter carried on through spring.

Then one day a man and woman stopped by the meadow and took down the for sale sign. “This is where we should plant our garden dear,” said the woman. “All summer these trees will have a variety of greens and texture together. Then in the autumn, the bright red of the oak will blaze against the deep green of the pine. In the wintertime, the twisting bare branches of the oak will frame the its mate. No matter what time of year they will compliment each other, yet each by itself would not be as beautiful. The perfect pair to protect all the flowers we will grow.” The man nodded his head in agreement.

“Oh my,” rattled Pine.

“Dear me,” rustled Oak.

The next day the wind blew and rain began to fall from a warm summer storm. Shyly Oak asked. “Would you like to dance?”

“I would be honored...” said Pine.

Are you sleeping through life? Do you even know it? And if you do, why are you doing it?

What I mean by sleeping through life is that you are just letting life happen and not taking control of your life in some way. There are people that just cruise on through and never stop to examine what is happening to them. These are the same people that complain that the same bad things happen to them over and over again. Gee, ya think?

For me every day is part of a continuing examination of the life I am living. Daily lessons on how to live and what I can do to make things better are offered for my taking. I watch the world and wonder what else is possible and see others that are either living it or letting it all pass by.

One of the things I see more of lately is that people refuse to see the good aspects of everything around them. When I drive the cab I usually ask “So did Vegas treat you well?” Usually the people start complaining about the losses at the gaming tables. So I counter, “You know, I was not talking about just the games. There is the dining, shows, and shopping, the whole package. So did Vegas treat you well?” and then they admit that they had a great time and I was right, the trip was not completely about the games.

What this shows is that people will assume the worst, dwell on it, and not look beyond what is immediately on their minds. These people are running on neutral and do not take the extra effort to see the whole picture. Sad isn’t it? But to be fair, there are a few that answer the whole trip was a wonderful time and they did enjoy it even through they may have lost on the tables. Those people are awake and have seen beyond the losses. Good for them.

Personally, I do not understand how people could live their lives without some examination of what is happening to them. But they do. You know it, I know it, do they know it? I know we can all get into a groove, things moving along in a comfortable routine, but does that mean we show just don the blinkers and keep going? Couldn’t we make things even better?

We have to live in the real world, not just the one we make around us.

You could say the last two years in my life have been all about loose ends. My failed marriage was a huge loose end that needed tying off and I have. Career path was an issue and I think that I have resolved that in the fact that I do not need to resolve it. And finally, the family life.

When my mother passed last April it was relief to be honest. She had Parkinson Disease and she was not fairing well, so her death was a mercy and welcome. There was nothing we could do for her but make her comfortable and put up with her crotchety ways. So it was a good thing when she passed.

They say that if a spouse lives a year after one of the pair dies that they will live a long time. Well, my father passed yesterday, less than a year after my mother. He and I never really got along, he would spend more time in his precious garage working half baked wood projects than spending time with his children. He was not able to communicate very well, and was all in all the very model of a curmudgeon. Now he is gone, and one less thing I have to worry about.

Does that sound cruel? He was after all my father, I should feel something more, but I really don’t. In my life my father was my grandfather. When he passed I was devastated and to this day I remember him with fondness and love. So, if you think about it, I lost my father in 1986. My father was just a miserable person and now he is gone. One more loose end tied up in my life. Thanks dad.

There are several other loose ends that I know of, but they will work themselves out as they always do. Time is a wonderful thing.

I love it when I get a new project in mind. It gets me thinking and planning and scheming and counting my chickens before they are hatched and that is all ok. The new project I have in mind is another web site (as if I don’t have enough already). But this one may be the one that turns things around… maybe.

The last time I had a bug like this was when I was doing this web site. It occupied a lot of my time and effort and I think that it turned out ok. It certainly has let me express myself a lot and gotten some nice feedback. This new one is completely different and should be a money maker (which is needed about now…) and could be just as fun.

So what is it I hear you ask? Well, it goes back to an older idea of mine. One that I wanted to institute with the university system, but one that was always a pie-in-the-sky. It has to do with my idea of a degree of common sense. So it is literally a degree of common sense. You can find it at www.degreeofcommonsense.com when it is finished.

So I have something to occupy my free time. How it works out.

It never fails. I wake up in the morning, check my inbox, and there they are, a ton of forwarded emails from a dozen friends. Today there were 114 of these, many of them were duplicates. I wonder, do the people who forward these emails know what they are doing?

Have you ever wondered where some of these cute emails get started? The originator is buried deep in many layers of forwards and cc’s and to find out you really have to dig. But I am here to tell you, these start with spammers.

Here is how it works… a spammer sends out hundreds of these blind emails to people he has never met. The person gets it, then follows the instructions and mails it to everyone in his email list. This snowballs as more people forward it. By the time it gets back to the spammer, there are hundreds if not thousands of VALID EMAIL ADDRESSES READY TO BE SPAMMED in the copy of the email!

Personally, I DO NOT FORWARD any of these emails to anyone, and thereby break the chain I am in and thereby do not increase my spam intake. I get over 4400 spams a day (ok, I own many domains) and have written custom programs and rules to handle that many emails, but even my best programming cannot eliminate the all the spam completely lest I eliminate real email with the bad. So I am back to deleting by hand.

These emails are fun and cute, but they are nothing more than ploys to get you to reveal you email lists. There is no curse, no good luck, no money coming your way, no long life, no anything, it is all made up and just another chain letter designed to plaster you with more spam emails.

I know that many people love to forward these emails, and in theory I do not have a problem with it, but there are things you can do to make the forward safe for you and your friends. Here are a couple of things that will slow down the spam to you inbox from chain letter harvesting:

1) Copy the body of the email into your new email, and do not include all the header information with all the other emails in it.
2) When you forward, use the BCC and not just the CC or Forward options. BCC (blind carbon copy) does not include any of the email address you have sent this to.
3) Do not forward chain letters.

Personally, I do not forward chain letters, it is safest and takes no time out of my day.

“The association of the middle of February with love and fertility dates to ancient times. In the calendar of Ancient Athens, the period between mid January and mid February was the month of Gamelion, which was dedicated to the sacred marriage of Zeus and Hera.

In Ancient Rome, the day of February 15 was Lupercalia, the festival of Lupercus, the god of fertility, who was represented as half-naked and dressed in goat skins. As part of the purification ritual, the priests of Lupercus would sacrifice goats to the god, and after drinking wine, they would run through the streets of Rome holding pieces of the goat skin above their heads, touching anyone they met. Young women especially would come forth voluntarily for the occasion, in the belief that being so touched would render them fruitful and bring easy childbirth.”

This is where the myth of Valentines day comes in (according to Wikipedia). I have no problem with this original festival. In fact, seem to me to be an interesting and even cathartic time, allowing those who have survived the winter to move their thoughts to something more favorable like bearing and raising children. At the time I am sure this was all taken very seriously, and with fervent belief. But not today.

The festival then became a tribute to Saint Valentine (any of the three that were martyred, you choose your favorite…), a priest burned during the third century. His association to romantic love is only there because Pope Gelasius in 492 AD wanted to counter Lupercalia, and bring the festival into the new secular order. This was a common practice at the time.

Today the festival has devolved into giving cards and candy, promoted by big corporations as a way to make money. Heaven forbid that we hand write our own cards or present tokens of affection that we created to loved ones, we would be missing the point (all sarcasm intended.) Valentines day has truly undergone changes over the last 2300 years.

For me it is yet again another useless and pointless holiday. Taken in todays context, it means nothing and even less to the lovers out there. How pathetic is it that someone should have to be reminded to be loving and then only on one day of the year. Shouldn’t we all want to keep the ideals of romance and love in our hearts all year long?

OK, so paint a scene… A man and a woman have been comfortable with each other for years and Valentines day rolls around. He is now expected to show his love for his woman, and she should reciprocate in some form (you take a guess as to the form). He forgets, now he’s a cad even though he has through the year been there for her, loved her and so on. Does anyone else see a problem with this?

I ask, is there a reason for this festival these days? Sure we have outgrown the need for Lupercalia, and honestly honoring any of three dead martyrs is not done either, it is just an excuse now for some companies to make money. So for me, I will keep the sentiments of love and romance in my heart all year long and when the urge moves me, I will present my loved ones with tokens of that love. I do not need to be reminded that I should do it, but I suppose there are those that do.

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