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Old Friend, or Not?
Ever have an “old friend” look you up? What if this old friend then wanted to be back in your life? What if he pushed for “how about hangin’ out later”, and you did not know what to say? How about the whole thing just felt creepy and that little voice in your head screamed “STOP”? Well, that is what is happening to me right now with this guy Don (well, we will call him Don here).
When I knew Don many years ago, he was a manic and rather odd guy. Smart with computers, he was into many other things that I just did not do. I was never heavy into the network games and I did not hang with a chemical crowd either. In short, we were never really friends, but rather acquaintances that happen to have other friends in common that drew us together. He and I were never really close, and to be honest, we never called or planned time together, we just happened to be together because we were with other we were with.
It seems, however, that now he wants to be my friends. The reasons seem rather obvious, he recently moved to Vegas and has no other friends. He is cleaning up his life (and I commend him for that) but wants to find support from someone that was not in the group that he ran with formerly. He is seeking a better group and has decided that I am part of the group he wants to be with. Unfortunately I am not of the same mind.
I never disliked Don, it is just that I never really liked him as a friend. He was just someone I knew and I was perfectly happy with it that way.
So, after several months of his “calling” I finally gave in and stopped by his work. We talked for a while and it was as you may have guessed, we talked about old times and glory days and I was uncomfortable. He told me how he was screwed up in the head, but getting better, how he was clean for a year and continuing, how he was here alone and it was like a therapy session I never asked for. Needless to say, I was uncomfortable but kept a pleasant face on.
So here is the thing, we are different people than we were years ago, but we are still not friends either, and I do not feel as if we ever will be. I can see that we have very little in common, and without mutual friends, we will never be in the same group. Again, it is not that I dislike the guy, it’s just that I don’t find him particularly likeable to me.
So where do I take it? Do I just let it go, hope that he will drift away again for another 12 years? Do I get more personal and tell him that he and I are just not “friends” material? I have this crazy feeling that if I rebuke him he will take it personally and I can see he would be hurt.
Once again, seems I may need to be the heavy.
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