Well, I got to do the day trip that I have been wanting to do for a very long time. Call me a bit of a UFO fanatic, I have always wanted to do Nevada’s Extraterrestrial Highway and see those simple sites for myself. That meant grabbing a shot of the infamous “Drop-box” and of course having breakfast at the Lil A’le Inn (BTW, great spuds.) Along with that were other sites and adventures. Some of the shots worked out and others did not, and I found a great disappointment with my pictures. So, here is Series Four, Highlights of the ET Highway trip.

And I am having trouble seeing,
In my mind and in my heart,
I cannot get a grip on the happenstance.
And the thunder rages all around me,

So many wants and desires,
I long for strength and clarity,
But like so many things,
They are thunder raging all around me.

Comfort in a daily life,
Knowing that there is format to the day,
I am a creature of patterns,
But the thunder rages all around me.

Though a new love is near me,
It does not stop the strikes of lightning,
Dazzling me and blinding,
Still the thunder rages around me.

Just some time is all I need,
To be with my daughter and delight,
But it is taken away and out of reach,
Damn the thunder raging around me.

So I walk the rain soaked path,
Toward the cloud-break just ahead,
Maybe there where the sun streams bright,
The thunder will stop raging around me.

What happens when you have to fight in a system of law and do not know all the players and not enough money? You loose, that’s what.

For the first time my ex wife’s money beat me (she got the cash from her very rich uncle.) The $4000 dollar retainer she paid her lawyers actually bought them something and so now I have to pay even more each month (about $200 over guideline) and STILL cannot see my daughter.

It did not help that we were seeing a judge that previously was not assigned to the case and didn’t knew the background (the presiding judge died and we were assign a new judge pro tem.) It did not help that my lawyer was not motivated (by cash) to get this one right. It did not help that I do not have the funds to match my ex’s bankroll. So many things were against it except one thing, I was in the right, but the minutia carried the day. The judge did not even want to hear argument; he just looked at the decree and said no. Not fair and not what would have happened in with Judge Denner.

Then to top it off, I was expecting to have a particular meeting to be able to see my daughter and that did not come off. I was upset and my ex slammed the door to me seeing my daughter. To say I was heart broke is an understatement. How can you be a Dad when you can’t be with your daughter?

To top it off the ex hits me with “contempt” papers because she can and labels me a dead beat dad even though all the child support is up to date and in order. More money I must put out to fight allegations and wage garnishments. Now funds are running short.

But I do have one surprise up my sleeve… My ex filed for relief from back taxes from the IRS and was granted it. She no longer owes the IRS any funds. I, on the other hand, now owe ALL the funds from those happy years and have to pay the IRS on top of everything else. But now for the surprise… In the divorce agreement it is stated very clearly that she owes for half the taxes during the years in question. Just because the IRS cleared her of the debt does not mean that she does not owe it. Guess who is going to put the squeeze on her?

Hopefully with this leverage I can force a break in the situation and make things happen for me, it is after all a substantial amount of money. I wonder if her “unlimited” funds will like the immense added expense? I think not and thus maybe we can talk as adults and really make some arrangements.

The real problem is I am going against is not even my ex, it is her mother and the fact that her rich uncle is stupid enough to keep giving her money. We are not talking a couple thousand here or there we are talking tens of thousands of dollars. To date I have paid $6500 in attorneys fees. She has paid over $70,000. It is hard to compete when you are being overmatched ten times. But then again she has had some very stupid representation, and yesterdays court date has not been a total waste, but rather pointed to a win when it is re-filed, which will happen today or tomorrow.

To add insult to injury, since I am going against her and her mother (in a round about way) it is now personal. You see she (her mother) hates men because she was in a bad relationship herself. She has convinced my ex that I am just another man to hate and thus become target for her hate. So it is not just the money it is the psychotic hatred for men that I have to go against as well. I can only hope that they are not brainwashing my daughter against me. Hell, with all he man-bashing going on in that house I would not be surprised if my daughter told me she was gay. I would love her all the same, but I would wonder how much the current environment was hurting her.

But for my daughter I have hope, she does want to see me and be part of my life. I had thought maybe that was not the case after these last two years, she rarely calls. But a couple of days ago while I was in LA for the hearing I talked to her and she told my ex to “shut up” when we were trying to make arrangements that would eventually not come off. My ex was on the phone with her and very surprised to hear her talk that way. Yeah Sarah! You go and let your mom know that dad does still count in your life. It was a very happy moment.

So there it is… the next round will be a three pronged attack against the vileness of my ex and her lawyers: 1) Get monthlies in line with guidelines. 2) Force her to allow me to see my daughter (with Sheriffs enforcing if need be.) 3) Make her cough up the funds she owes me for the taxes and then let me take care of them.

The last is the key I think. It is so clearly stated that even this Judge will have to side with me. Once that is paid I can then haggle with the IRS and get everything cleared up and finally be in a place that will allow me to move forward.

You know, I would bend over backwards for my ex if she would only talk reasonably like an adult. If she would act like a mature person and know that she is harming my daughter by keeping me away. We had 19 years together and I guess none of that counts for anything anymore, there is just hatred and denial in her heart and head and it has blinded her to everything else.

And she thinks I am the one that needs therapy.

To my daughter I offer this Lullaby:

Lullaby (Good Night My Angel)
By Billy Joel

Good night my angel time to close you eyes
And save these questions for another day
I think I know what you’ve been asking me
I think you know what I’ve been trying to say

Someday we’ll all be gone
But lullabies go on and on
They never die that’s how you and I will be