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The meds are doing their job, I am not as depressed as I usually get then I am not working. Thank you Wellbutrin.

When I told my doctor about feeling depressed and knowing when the depression was coming on, feeling the chemicals soak my brain, he put me on Wellbutrin. It was a two birds with one stone thing… it should take care of the depression bouts and encourage me to stop smoking as well (which it certainly has.) And now after taking it for a few months I am able to handle my current situation better than I would have, the depression I am feeling is considerably less than in past times.

Is this an improvement? I guess you could say yes it is, but there was something to that wallowing in self-pity that made the days go by faster.

So now it is time for that job hunt thing… this I really hate.

Here is another realization I came to this week… I can’t drive a cab anymore.

Oh, I mean I could, but just that I won’t. I quit my job on Monday having come to the conclusion that this is just not for me. Why? Because the car demons are out to get me.

In the year I have driven a cab I have been hit three times by careless drivers. I have been given citations, and generally screwed up my driving record for the next few years. But it was the accidents (none my fault mind you) that got my attention. I have been lucky I guess, all the collisions were minor and no one really hurt, well, no one but me. Each accident has played havoc with my back and knees and I just cannot take it any more. To be honest I am scared when the next one happens and it is not so minor, what do I do then?

So, me being the conceited person I am, I figure I will not risk additional damage to my oh so perfect physique. I would rather hang it up than risk being killed in a major accident.

While driving I did not know anyone who did not have at least one accident and tickets, this does not bode well and maybe I should have looked into this before I began driving. Well, at least it is something I can remedy.

Anyone need a PERL programmer / HTML Guru / CSS guru / Javascript expert? Have computer, will travel.

Well, once again my body is forbidding me to have something that I want. My body, the traitor, is telling me I have to get rid of the boys.

It’s the old allergies. I used to be allergic to dogs when I was a kid, but it was never a problem. In fact I have had several dogs in my life and have never had this problem.  But now, when I get around the dogs sleep areas and such I find that I can’t breath and get dizzy. My throat closes and I feel like I have to vomit. In short I cannot live like this.

The only answer is to give up Bogart and Orson. Now I know I have only had them for a few months, but they sure feel like part of the family already, and how do you give up family members. But the truth is they are just pets, and my health has to come before pets.

It is one more realization recently that I have to adjust to.