Are you part of the dating game? Did you meet your current mate from a dating site? Do you still check your profile for emails, views, winks, and other response? Is everyone in your life really ok with this or are they saying they are just to make you happy? Do you really need to check your profile anymore?

Look, this is purely from a mans point of view, but no, I don’t want to turn off my profile. I want to know that there are always women that would want to date me. Call it insecurity or just ego, but knowing that there are options are what men want. And I would say women would want the same thing, but I am not of that gender. But what message is this sending?

The wrong one if you are in a “committed” relationship. So you and your significant other have talked, sure, it’s ok to check the profiles, you’ll do it and your SO will do it. And what you are saying is “I don’t know of this will work out, so I want options”. How would you feel if your SO told you that? Not great huh? You would think there is no real meaning to the relationship and not take it seriously. Just because you check profiles.

How about if you are in a relationship that is into threesomes or moresomes? You think this changes whether you can check profiles? After all you are just looking for more friends. Well, guess what, it doesn’t change the equation one bit. Everyone wants to think that they are special, and by checking these profiles you are sending the “well, I could do better than you” signal. Talk about asking for problems, is it worth it?

So it is that I turn off my profiles. I want to tell that special person just how much they mean to me. Tell them that they are the one I want to focus on. Tell them that they are special and I do not need to look for others or even bother having “options”. Turning off your profile is a signal that you are serious about your relationship.

This has been an issue in two relationships I have been in. In both cases I may not have fully realized the importance of turning off the profile was. I last a truly wonderful woman the first time, she was so special to me. But fate smiled on me and I have met another wonderful woman, and this time I do not mean to mess it up with “quick profile checks”. She now knows how special she is to me because I have eliminated any competition, shown her she is the one I want.

The profile is off, yes, and it should stay that way unless something happens and you know the relationship is over and once again you are indeed “on the market” for someone else. It should stay that way out of respect and love. It should stay that way for all the reasons that you do not want to be told you are second in your significant others life. Or, if you are part of that swinging life, until you and your SO are so firm about the two of you that there would be no question in your mind of your love and respect for each other.

Profile OFF = I love you.