The Charcoal-Burner and the Fuller

Like will draw like.

When I first looked at this one I was very confused. Charcoal-burner? Fuller? What is going on here? Simply put a charcoal-burner can be one who makes or uses charcoal, a messy business in any event. Also, whose business would be in his house using charcoal (or simple coal)? In the case of the Charcoal-burner I am going to surmise he is a blacksmith or some sort of course metal smith. This is even harder to understand when the definitions for “fuller” are looked up.

There are two definitions for “fuller” that fit in this little fable. The first, interestingly enough, could be some sort of metal smith, one that may work with a tool to shape metal. The other definition is someone who shapes or fulls cloth. Basically this is making the cloth pleated. The first definition may relate to the charcoal, and the second could reference the “whiten” remark (as in bleaching cloth), or even reference metal working another way, as to polish metal could be considered “whitening” the metal. So what are we to make of these odd description and the even stranger moral that is opposite of what is implied in the fable?

And what about the moral if taken just by itself? “Like will draw like” is the concept of sympathy and contagion. Two things of similar design, concept or essence will be related to one another, e.g. a rock would be sympathetic with sand. Contagion is the idea that if something comes in contact with something else, they are then connected in a way. You put hair from the person you want to curse in the voodoo doll because then the doll and the person are connected.

How about this… let’s assume that the Charcoal-Burner is a blacksmith, and the Fuller is a metal-smith. I use these definitions for sympathy’s sake, like drawing like. The two men are both metal workers and thus a good combination of the two could be fruitful, sharing expenses and common tools and a forge. Aesop draws the moral from the blacksmith with the good idea and thus “Like will draw like” is applicable. The metal-smith finds a problem with it however, that even though the two men engage in similar practices, the blacksmiths occupation is course and dirty work, whereas the metal-smith is involved in much finer applications of metal and the dirt from the blacksmith would mar the metal-smiths work. Thus, while “like will draw like”, it may not be the best of circumstances for both parties. In fact, the blacksmiths “contagion” is detrimental to the metal-smiths work.

I have just made some real tough assumptions from the fable translation, but really, how else are you going to interpret it and have the whole fable make some kind of sense in this modern day? The more you look at it the less likely the “fuller” has anything to do with cloth because the two professions would not share tools and expenses and thus no point to the like drawing like. Even if you were to think about it as two people sharing simple living expenses and each have completely divergent occupations, it still does not sit well because that would be just about any two people and occupations could share the house, so what’s the point. There has to be a more compelling reason to share than any two people. With a blacksmith and a metal-smith we get that extra reason to share spaces, others don’t compel as well.

Maybe the fable should be translated like this:

The Blacksmith and Silversmith

Like may draw like.

I am not sure this is actually what Aesop may have been getting at, but at the time iron and silver work were both in practice and they would indeed be exclusive occupation though they are seemingly sympathetic with each other. The moral would then to exercise caution in seemingly similar circumstances for the devil is in the details. In fact you could put the moral of “The devils in the details” on this one, except there was no concept of the devil at the time.

The Lion and the Mouse

It happened that shortly after the Lion was caught by some hunters, who bound him with ropes to the ground. The Mouse, recognizing the Lions roar, came and gnawed the ropes thereby setting him free, repaying the kindness. The Mouse exclaimed, “You ridiculed the idea of my ever being able to help you, expecting never to receive from me any repayment of your favor; but now you know that it is possible for even a Mouse to benefit a Lion."

Oh the heck with it… from this point on I am going to correct the grammar and English of these fable translations as I think they make the most sense. Also, I will clean them up for easier reading. The above is a good example of a cleaned up fable. I have attempted to use as much of the original translation without changing the meaning. If you read the original you would see what I mean. I also added a bit of imagery with “an act of largess” alluding to the Lions spot as king of the jungle (which may actually be important.)

The moral of the story:

For everybody and everything there is usefulness.

Maybe there is something more to this moral. I think it is very interesting that “the King of Beasts” is used in this case when any animal that may eat a mouse could have been used. I think there is some social commentary happening here. After all, how often would a lion really go after a mouse, even one crossing right over his face? It would take more energy to catch that paltry tidbit and consume it than the mouse could provide in return. Any cat could have worked just as well as a lion (yes, cats were domesticated by Aesop’s time.) Could Aesop have been sending a message to a local politician or governor?

Seems to me there is a subtext here. A powerful man should be good to his slaves or servant for there may come a time when his dependence upon them is more that just a convenience. Coming from Aesop this would make a lot of sense since he was a slave before being freed. It is even possible that he created this fable to make a point to his master. If so, we can see Aesop was a sly one indeed, a master of circumlocution. It is easy to see a time where Aesop’s master may have dealt harshly with a slave and Aesop, a trusted and wily servant, approached him and said, “My lord, have you heard the fable of the Lion and the Mouse,” and made a most sharp point.

It is also interesting to note that the Mouse does honor his commitment to the Lion when there was absolutely no need for the mouse to risk being put in the middle. The mouse has personal honor and that says a lot for its nature. The Mouse recognizes a higher level of commitment other than to itself. In other fables the mouse or other small animal is completely contented to get away and survive another day. That is not the case here, a higher responsibility is acknowledged, a responsibility to Master, Lord, King, Emperor or State knowing that there is a reciprocating responsibility, even if it is just the largess of a king.

The Mouse is wise, the Lion is benevolent, the world is civil.

The Ass and the Grasshopper [Crickets]

AN ASS having heard some Grasshoppers [Crickets] chirping, was highly enchanted; and, desiring to possess the same charms of melody, demanded to know what sort of food they lived on to give them such beautiful voices. They replied, “The dew.” The Ass resolved that he would live only upon dew, and in a short time died of hunger.

There are times that we all want something we just cannot have and this poor Ass paid the highest toll for his wishes. There are all sorts of limitations we all must live with, we should learn to accept them. After all, if the Crickets wanted to envy something about the Ass they certainly could have admired his stubbornness, strength and endurance. So that leads us to the unstated moral:

One should not envy what one cannot be (have).

Yes, for whatever reason this particular fable does not come with a moral. We all see the obviousness of the moral, but is the lack of a moral a mistake by Aesop or is it in the translation. I certainly have to wonder about this since Aesop was very consistent in setting down the fables. Personally I think that translation may be the culprit here, and in future fables there are going to be many mistakes in translation (in my opinion.) In The Bat and the Weasel there may be a mistake in translation also, but if there is it is subtle and may not be incorrect. Here, certainly the translator could have proved his opinion of the moral, simple as it is.

Also, do grasshoppers sing as crickets do? Is this yet another mistranslation? I think we are seeing a very obvious mistake, one I am happy to correct in this modern age. As with all translations there are the literal translations and the expressed translations. The first may actually mistake meanings of word within context and the second expresses the idea and thus a more accurate, if not literal, meaning.

To make my writing more clear, I am going to institute the following standards:

[Brackets] – The word within can replace the preceding word(s).
Underline – This is a change from the original translation made by me.
Italics – This will be the text I am going to base the entry on.

If there need to be other standards I will set them down as needed. Back to the analysis…

Maybe commentary is more accurate at this point other rather than analysis. How many people do we know that want more than they can have or want to be what they just can’t. How many people go to great lengths to attain what someone else has and then find that it is not for them and it was folly from the beginning to want whatever it is. In this age of instant communication and hyped media we are exposed to any number of desires that are simply not meant for us. Why do we yearn for these things? Do we not know that we will die if we try to live only on dew?

There is a pretext of humble existence implied in this fable. The hardworking ass should be happy with what he is, a useful and productive member of the farm. Yet the ass is not happy being just a useful and productive animal, he wants to be the creator of beautiful music too and thus dies in the attempt.

We all have our strengths and should contentment with those strengths and not over-reach for something that is just not possible. I think this is a very practical principle, as are most of Aesops morals.

The Bat and the Weasel

A BAT who fell upon the ground and was caught by a Weasel pleaded to be spared his life. The Weasel refused, saying that he was by nature the enemy of all birds. The Bat assured him that he was not a bird, but a mouse, and thus was set free. Shortly afterwards the Bat again fell to the ground and was caught by another Weasel, whom he likewise entreated not to eat him. The Weasel said that he had a special hostility to mice. The Bat assured him that he was not a mouse, but a bat, and thus a second time escaped.

It is wise to turn circumstances to good account.

Once again into the fray of “truths” brought to us by our old friend Aesop. This time we explore the constructive lie and ask whether we really needed to lie at all.

The Bat here is the one we have to watch closely. Why did he lie to the first weasel? We know he is not a bird, and indeed just a bat. He is not a mouse, but what really is the purpose of naming himself thus? Why lie?

In the first case it is interesting that we see the white lie at work; a lie but none the less a harmless lie of misstating its species. The second time around the harmless lie is no longer really good and the bat tells the truth and is thus spared a second time. Could the bat have told the truth both times and been freed? Surely so, but then we would not have the illustration that a small lie can do good.

We all think that lies, even small lies are bad things. But we all lie every day to help us get along in the world. Most of the time the lies are so small that they are hardly recognized. The lies can even be unstated by not saying anything when speaking up is really called for. These little lies are the grease of society and allow us to live, and in the case of the bat, literally live.

The literal moral provided with the graph is truly a simple statement. Use what you can and have around you to your advantage. This is so obvious that maybe it is too obvious, hence I see the “little lie” as the turn of the circumstance. I see a more useful and deep moral in the example that the obvious and I am not certain the moral is in line with the example.

Maybe I would have written the fable like this to fit the moral better:

THE BAT fell from the grape vine as was caught by a weasel. The Bat pleaded for his life and offered the weasel a beautiful ripe grape that happened to have fallen nearby. The weasel let the bat go to happily munch on the grape. The next day the bat fell again and was caught by another weasel. Again the weasel offered a beautiful grape to the weasel but the weasel did not like grapes so the bat caught a small cricket and offered this to the weasel and escaped again.

It is wise to turn circumstance to good account.

The second version of the fable reads more as the moral would have you believe and maybe more to what Aesop was thinking. Aesop being a slave would have had to be quick-witted to survive better. This being the case he would have used his circumstance and surroundings to his advantage (good account). This version does get around the sticky “lie” of the original, but maybe that is exactly the reason it is there.

Maybe Aesop wanted us to consider the “little lie” and thus made the moral a bit more austere than it needed to be. These paragraphs are more subtle that one might imagine and as you study them you need to look for a deeper truth. So maybe my version is not what Aesop had in mind after all.

I do not claim to be a great philosopher now do I even represent myself as having studied philosophy at all, this is just what I see in the fable and how I interpret it. I may be far off in term of what other wiser men may think, but for me this is the truth of the story. I am suspicious and see the little lie and ask if that is where Aesop is going. It was after all not needed, so why bother. This must be where Aesop wanted to take me, nudged by the none too relevant moral, so I have to look closer.

Read Aesop as a skeptic and you may find more there and you bargained for.

Note: While writing this entry I tried to look up online examples, explanations and analysis of this fable but was unable to find anything. This being the case I think I may have found an interesting subject to blog on in an extended manner. I will use my own powers of observation to dissect these fables and opposed to just relating them I will try to explain them. Again, I am not an expert, so it should come as an interesting exercise as this moves along.

The Wolf and the Lamb

THE WOLF, meeting with a Lamb astray from the fold, resolved not to lay violent hands on him, but to find some plea to justify to the Lamb the Wolf’s right to eat him. He thus addressed him: “Sirrah, last year you grossly insulted me.” “Indeed,” bleated the Lamb in a mournful tone of voice, “I was not then born.” Then said the Wolf, “You feed in my pasture.” “No, good sir,” replied the Lamb, “I have not yet tasted grass.” Again said the Wolf, “You drink of my well.” “No,” exclaimed the Lamb, “I never yet drank water, for as yet my mother’s milk is both food and drink to me.” Upon which the Wolf seized him and ate him up, saying, “Well! I won’t remain supperless, even though you refute every one of my imputations.”

The tyrant will always find a pretext for his tyranny.

The nice thing about the above paragraph is that it is 2600 years old and I do not need to worry about a copyright. And to the authors’ credit, “The Phrygian has spoken better than all” and still his words echo through this modern world as guides everyone should be exposed to.

So, who is the author and the creator of these guides? Well, he was born a slave if you can believe it or not. After two masters, the second set him free for nothing other the wit and wisdom. Not bad for simple slave training. Eventually, the quick-witted man sat with the sages of the time, men like Phaedo, Menippus, Epictetus, Solon, Thales, and Croecus. Still can’t place this great sage? Well, he was big in the court of the King of Lydia and finally settled to live the remainder of his life in Sardis where he was employed as a politician. After that he toured the countries and can be accounted in Corinth and Delphi where he had a strong influence. The extraordinary wit is none other that Aesop who’s fables we feed our children.

There are hundreds of Aesop Fables, yet I would bet few of us could only recount maybe one or two of these. The Tortoise and the Hare is by far the best known. Sour Grapes, Flies and the Honey Pot, The Wolf in Sheep’s’ Clothing, The Sheppard’s boy and the Wolf, and The Cat and the Mice are still some told to children but we are not spending the time to educate or kids to these fables. With 300 of these fables it would take the better part of a year to recount them as one a night. Since they are generally very short, you can teach these to your children and then discuss the moral of the story. Wow, can you imagine the children learning these morals at such a young age? What would our world be like?

How about the adults learning the Aesop Fables too? It does not take very much effort as to why I chose the above paragraph as pertaining to the current world situation. If all the world leaders were to read this graph of ancient wisdom we would all know we see right through most of your dealings. We learn to be suspicious of our leaders and let them prove by example how they treat the world around them and not create pretext. One simple paragraph and Aesop could save the world. And this is only the first of his Fables.

Now, does that mean I am putting our current President Bush in the part of the Wolf? Well in some respects, “If the shoe fits…”, yeah I guess you could say so. But do I put him their as the exclusive cause to the worlds problems, the Alpha Wolf? Certainly not. He is only one wolf looking to eat the tender lamb of the peoples searching adoration. And even though he is not “popular” any more, it was not the case six years ago or even three years ago when we had the chance to replace him and did not.

Personally I find all the political second guessing distasteful. If there is one thing I can give credit for to Hilary Clinton is that she has not pulled the old “I was against it before I was for it and then against it again” routine. She has stuck to her original opinion and while she has changes her current view as to what needs to be done now, she sticks by her decisions of the past. Thank you Hilary for not creating pretext.

And for all that is said about our Commander and Chief, he is laying in the bed he made and standing by his convictions. There is something to be said for that kind of stubbornness. I don’t agree with it, but there is something to be said for it. But whether wittingly or unwittingly our President has led us into a pretext and has landed us in our current world situation. Who knew what or who is to blame is beyond the point at this juncture, we need to simply untangle the pretext and move on. If apologies are to be made then I want to hear them. And even if they are to be made and the world tension gets relieved without an apology, I can handle that too.

But don’t think for a second that GW is the only one that needs to do the untangling. Many nations have contributed to the state of unrest we find ourselves. We are in a world where the Doomsday Clock is getting closer and closer to midnight and the superpowers are no longer the cause for it. Everybody has a hand in it and nobody is reading Aesop anymore.

I know, I have an idea… I will send copies of Aesop’s Fables to all the world leaders. I will send translations in English, Chinese, Arabic, Hebrew, Farsi, French, German, Japanese, Korean, Spanish and dozens of other languages in a hope that these world leaders will read them and understand the truths they espouse. The morals of Aesop are not culturally biased. They were before the Bible, before the Koran, before almost all other learning. These morals are simply human observations of the truth and need neither proof nor explanation as to why they are relevant.

Let’s teach these morals to our children and maybe we’ll as parents learn something.

You see the ads for all kinds of money making schemes online. Data entry services, surveys sites, and emailing schemes all tempt you through your email and ads on other sites, but do they really work? I am about to find out.

There are things I want to do, but to be honest, a regular 9 to 5 job was just going to get in the way. What I need is a job that I can do from home, build up and eventually make money without interfering with other things I want to do, like write. So, you can see one of these money schemes is very tempting.

I started looking into the data entry game. It is a simple idea, companies supply you with links and you get paid when the link you provide generates a lead or a sale. The question of course is how to create that many links and follow the sales, and of course get paid. And to do all that, you have to know the secret. And FYI, I will not be revealing the secret at this time.

The companies involved in the chain of events that have to be worked through are all honest and popular companies. I checked out the businesses with the BBB and there are no complaints. The trick (not the secret) is how each work with each other to generate your pay (the secret). And as I worked it through and drew out the flow chart and got past all the varied fees and setup accounts, I began to see that this may actually work and not be “the scam” that so many people think it is.

What people think of as “the scam” are the sites that you have to visit that tell you “the secret”. Usually these sites charge between $50 and $100 for a set of instructions on how it all works. It seems like a scam because it is a conglomeration of seemingly non-related companies working in ways that you would not expect. Then you start getting into the additional fees and you think it is just a scam to generate “user fees” that will not go anywhere. But there is an end, and at the end is a workable moneymaking business.

To break it down, emailing schemes are good for high risk cash. I say high risk because becoming a spammer can cause you a lot of trouble if you do not know what you are doing. Also, you really need to have a technical knowledge of networks and mail protocols so you reduce your chance of getting caught. For me email is too high a risk for the reward knowing what I know and having worked as a spammer for two year. Yes the money was good, but the work was real work and not easy. But then again I was mailing and tracking 500 million emails a day. (You think that is easy? Try it once and watch how fast your accounts get shut down. Then figure out a way of doing it without getting caught.)

The “surveys” are not a great way of making cash, but they can generate a lot of barter merchandize. This can be very useful to reduce you cost of living. If you think about it, spending 10 minutes to fill out a survey and getting back coupons for 100 cases of Coke at no charge is a pretty good deal. You will be saving a few hundred dollars over the long run for practically no work. Also, there are tons of free meals at just about any restaurant so you could be eating out a lot of the time for just the cost of the tip. Bet you can’t serve an Olive Garden style dinner at home for $6.00. So once again, you are saving money by not spending it..

In the survey category is also the “secret shopper” and live survey options. Some of these actually do pay cash, some reimburse you for what you spend. Again, it is like getting something for nothing and pocketing your hard earned greenbacks.

Then there is the data entry area of online moneymaking. You enter ads for companies and as they sell, you get paid. When you first start out it is slow going because the even though you may enter 10 or 20, each with 15 keywords, you slowly realize that you need hundreds or even thousands of entries going to really start making money. So as you work it is a slow start. And here again, the slow start is going to make you think it is all a scam. You have to be persistent.

If you did 10 entries a day, after a month you would have 300 and a decent chance of making some cash. If you did 50 a day, by the end of a month you could be doing very well indeed at $5 to $50 (or more) per successful click. Do the arithmetic; it will begin paying very well even with the fees that must be paid. Netting some good cash is possible. Then think about this; bust your hump and do 50 entries a day for 3 months. By the time you are finished you will have over 4000 ads running with 10 to 20 keywords each, for a possibility of up to 80,000 chances your ads will be seen. This is now significant and I can see there being some serious cash made. Think this through and you will see why I want to work this angle over the other ones. By summer I could be very happy.

So the arithmetic works like this… Your ad is displayed X% of the time per keyword. This is the crucial factor, the higher X is the better. If 1 in 100 of the displays are actually clicked on and then 1 in 10 of those is actually a sale (yeah, for those simplifying that is 1 in a 1000 displays results in a sale) you can see how this is completely a numbers game. So your paid about 1 in 1000 (to 10,000) times your ad is displayed generating between $5.00 and $50.00 or more. Your cost is the cost per click (the 10 times in a thousand) costing you a maximum of $.30. So, you make money.

Now, that is all theory and not been proven to me yet. I am after all just now starting to work this for real and only time and persistence will tell the tale.

Here’s to persistence and money, may the Greenback Devil stay off my back.

Anyone have a clue as to why I can’t sleep at night? I can go through the normal questions, environmental factors (huge factor), stress, medical, psychological, but will it help. Let’s see.

Simplest one first, environmental factors. Of late I have become very sensitive to smells. The only reason I can think of as to why this may be the case is because I quit smoking about 9 months ago and my nose has finally cleared up and now I am experiencing a normal level of smell which seems exaggerated. If this I what normal smell is like, give me the muted smell like when I was smoking. The smells that get me the most are those of mold and mildew but I can’t track down the sources of the smell. There are no obvious “patches” of exposed mold or mildew to generate the smell. This is frustrating to say the least.

One other change in the environment has happened. We, meaning me and Nan, think that our new neighbors are a pair of hooker. Why? Well, parties at odd hours lasting for about an hour or two, lots of heavy noises on the roof, activity at all hours, and other things that lead us to this conclusion. Also, someone up there smokes in the bathtub or something. Once in a while I can smell cigarette smoke drift through the exhaust fan vent and into our bathroom. Turning on the fan only seems to make it worse. Is it possible the moldy smell is coming from up there? I don’t know, but the odor is strong enough to wake me up and hence one reason why I can’t sleep.

Stress if course is another factor. I admit, I have a lot on my mind and worries to drown a wet rat in, but usually this is not enough for me to loose this much sleep over. Yeah, I have the tension headache, the acidic stomach sometimes, but again, these have never been enough for me to not sleep with. Hell, I used to be proud of the fact that I could fall asleep just about anywhere and anytime. Now, this is not the case.

I would consider medical as one of the causes for sleeplessness, especially if I have not taken my meds, but even when I do take them I still cannot sleep well. As for other medical considerations, I have just gotten over a long recovery from appendicitis, but that does not feel to be the answer as to why I can’t sleep.

Earlier in the week we could have used muscle aches and pain as an excuse (though when was pain ever a reason for me not to sleep) since I had “worked out” last weekend and pushed myself to far. But as the week went long that became less of an excuse.

One last medical thought is that I am detoxing after months of sustained medicine use. I had this happen once already as I experienced a week of withdrawal from the morphine I was taking. Then after I stopped my antibiotics it experienced strange tastes and such as those meds washed out of my system. Now I am slowly lowering my use of Soma and Lortab (hydrocodone) because I just don’t need them (Not that I did not like the loopy feeling I got on them). So there may be a reason for the restlessness, but it does not feel like that is the reason.

So that leaves psychological, gee, who’da thunk it.

I know I am messed up in many ways, and maybe just maybe one other the demon I have to deal with is prodding me in my sleep. Dreams have been a mix of good and bad so maybe there is another issue I have to work out sooner rather than later. It would not be the first time this has happened to me. I remember years ago there was something bothering me and I could not sleep for almost a month. I was going bonkers and finally I figured out something and came to grips with it and finally I was able to sleep again. So maybe that is the root of my insomnia.

So we wrap it all up: Odors are killing me at night, hookers are making a lot of noise at all hours and smoking and I my inner demons are once again on the warpath till I find out what they want and fix it.  I eliminate stress because I have never lost sleep over stress before (although a psychologist would say that it could be affecting me now) and medical because I have the diagnostic assurances that this is under control,.

So here I am, at 4:30am entering a blog post because I can’t sleep right now. Even though I had a good day, got some exercise, relaxed, and did things to relieve my troubles, I still can’t sleep.

But maybe I should clarify sleep… I do not get the sustained eight hours that most people require for a good nights sleep. Even with sleep aides I can’t manage more than about six hours at a time. I drift off during the day, even in the car going places (I am not driving), or after a paragraph or two when reading. But then again, I experience micro-sleeps and that that is not beneficial. As I stated in another entry, I have drifted off several times while writing this only to be snatched from slumber awake again. It is annoying to sya the least.

So maybe now I will crawl back into the bed and try again because I can’t hold my head up any more. Tomorrow I think on it some more and try to figure out why nox can’t envelop me and restore me whole.

When was the last time wrote about anything other than trivial matters? I know I wrote about my time in the hospital, but was that really about me at all or just about everything around me. Seriously, the last time I wrote about myself was the end of November. Interestingly, after that post I have felt a lot better about my memories of my parents. But what have I done about anything lately?

I have been dealing with the aftermath of appendicitis and have not really felt like much of anything. There have been days that all I want is to stay in bed and not deal with life. I have been depressed, although thankfully, not as badly as I would have been had I not been on Welbutrin. With that depression I just have not been in the mood. So I guess it is a good thing that I am writing again even if the writing is about such trivial matters as movies and television shows.

Only now, coming up on four months from the start of an episode in my life that I could have done without, do I feel like I want to get back on the horse at all and get things going. But my body hurts and I feel so weak. Yeah me, weak, the big oaf of a guy who couldn’t possibly be weak, but I am. Example; last Sunday I did some walking and have been regretting it ever since. Let’s just say the mind is willing but the body is not capable.

Here I am getting up in the morning and falling asleep again my 10am. I try to focus on anything and I fall asleep. Even during the writing of this entry I have fallen asleep several times and I bet I will do so some more. Then, in the evenings when I want to sleep, sleep eludes me. Is this part of the depression?

And finally, the warm and fuzzies are not there in regard to my blog writing. I know this is a temporary thing, I like writing and it will come back, but I want it back sooner so I can get back in the swing of things. I hate feeling like the world is moving on but I am sitting here and not keeping up.

I have to say that it is not that I have not had support from special people around me, I have, but that does not mitigate the depression and bewildering spin I am in. Everything is there for me to get back into the swing of things if I can only find strong enough reasons.

I know, maybe I need to wallow in an orgy of lust and wet spots. Maybe I should take a vacation and start later (nah). How about waiting for my world to finish falling apart and take it from the depths of depravity back to normal and adequate.

Or maybe, just maybe, I should start doing something about it right now. I’ll call friends, set out plans, start looking forward and hope, no will, my life to commence again.

There are very few movies that I really rave about, but the latest Frank Miller adaptation, “300” is going to be one of them. It is about the Spartan myth about Leonidas and the 300 that faced down the hoards of Xerxes. It is about honor and friendship in the face of death, and about the love of a father for a son that cannot be expressed. It is about the love of a King for his land and people. It is about the most amazing display of blood and gut I have seen since Kill Bill, but even better done.

In the style of the last Frank Miller graphic novel adaptation, Sin City, “300” tempts you to let go of what you expect of normal movie styling and accept the noire anime that the graphic novel illustrated. Usually the illustration acts as a storyboard only for movie should pacing, but in this case the graphic novel is the template for how the movie should be filmed and rendered. And in this the film was completely successful where “Sin City” attempted to do similar but was not quite there.

A huge tip of the hat to whoever did the historical research on how the Spartans engaged in battle, because for the first time I felt like I was being shown what a real ancient battle must have been like. It was not the tin soldiers in rows upon rows waiting to pound each other into silliness, there were real battle tactics and understanding into the phalanx formations. Of course it was blown a bit out of proportion, it is myth after all, but it was close enough to be believable.

Detailed description of this movie is difficult because it is so different. You could call it live action animation, or even highly stylized noire done in high contrast and re-colorized, but whatever you call it you experience two hours of eye candy. And this was very good eye candy.

Go see it, but do not take the children, this is not a cartoon you would want them to see. And of course here is my highest recommendation … this will be in my DVD collection when it comes out.

It’s 6:00 am and you turn off the alarm clock for the last time. Despite the need to relieve yourself you pass out again, the night has been haunted you. The expected sleep never came because the Greenback Devil has been visiting your nightmares sabotaging your effort to rejuvenate. And now, even as you wake, you can swear you saw him just at the foot of your bed and you bolt upright with cold chills; the chance of further sleep now completely gone.

If you do not have the Greenback Devil working for you, days can become tortured events. The ringing of a phone marks a battle between you and one of his imps, dreading who may be on the end of the line. The mailbox is filled day in and day out with his imps who make you agonize as you open that unidentified mail. Even knocks at the door could be something other than the pizza you ordered. It gets so bad that you wonder if maybe the imps aren’t making off with your things so you check too see if your car is still sitting in its’ spot several times a day.

Finally, still sitting in your bed, covers pulled up to your chin you come to the realization that you must accept the Greenback Devil for exactly what it is, a merciless taskmaster who tempts you with your daily creature comforts. You want these monstrosities, the wide-screen TV, the leather covered furniture, the fast car and such, but to get them you must accept the Greenback and the hold it will have over you.

As you finally go about the routines, you face your wallet, the abode of many Greenbacks and his impish minions, Visa, Amex, Discover, and of course their leader, MasterCard. Your wallet is unfortunately not loaded with the Greenbacks that you now realize hold his followers at bay and who can cause so much torture. You instead fold it and stick it in a rear pocket content with squeezing the Greenback and his minions between your ass and the seat. Now you realize why men carry wallets where they do, out of site and inflicting some of your own torture on the unfeeling demons that reside within.

Sitting down at the table, Captain Crunch mocks you with raucous noise as you chew and titillates you with sweet flavors of maple and corn. It is your last bowl, the Crunch dust is floating on the milk, you’re going to need more Greenbacks to buy more Captain Crunch. Then it hits, the Greenback Devil has invaded every part of your life. The breakfast cereal, the dishwasher detergent, the toothpaste and even the medications you need to stay alive and in health all force you to work for Greenbacks. You are hooked and the world around you does not even notice that it has been taken over by a fiction so pervasive that it is invisible.

But it is worse for you, you are not part of the Greenback Generating Machine, you are unemployed and Greenbacks come with little or no frequency and the imps are starting to take their toll on your life. You can find no solace in the fact they you are not part of the fiction that rules the world, in fact the world considers you less than human because you are not hooked on the Greenback fiction. Friends leave you because they cannot be bothered with someone not part of the shared delusion. Opportunities seem to slip by you for you are not acclimated to the Greenback way of doing things.

You understand now, as you stare down at the last of the Crunch dust laced milk in your bowl that you have grown in a way that is outside of the common perceptions and that if you are not careful you could be labeled by the deluded masses. You could be labeled “Insane”, or even “Malcontent”, or possible “Vagrant”. You could be labeled a lot of things, “Deadbeat Dad”, “Tax Evader”, “Rebel Rouser”, “Communist”, “Disaffected” or “Public Enemy Number One”. The masses will do anything to maintain the illusion for themselves and if you are not careful you could become a victim of the fallacy.

But you know that your point of view is not without merit. You know that you have turned down opportunities because you did not want to feel like a hypocrite. You have refused to do things you feel are wrong, like defrauding seniors out of money. Why? Because you grew a conscious it alerted you to the longer range ill accepting the course offered would cause. You escaped a job once because it was just not right to slam everybody in the worlds email boxes twenty times in a day. The escape made you feel better; you have now injured a machine that injured half a billion people a day with annoyances. You are guilty of being moral and ethical to yourself, and if the truth be known, everybody else, but the fiction cannot accept a person like that. Last time it did it put us into two thousand years of additional fallacies and counting.

The question now becomes how long can you hold out against the delusion? You need Greenbacks to survive in this world and you are not willing to go rural. Even then, it would take a stack of Greenbacks to get there before you can go rural and live off the net. To what extent are you willing to accept the stigmata from the culture around you before you throw up your hands and give in to the inevitable? You do not know the answer to that, but you can feel it would take a much strong personality than yours, so you know there will come a time where you will pursue the Greenbacks again.

So, how long do you hold out, allowing the imps of the Greenback hound you? How long will you submit to the daily grind without the creature comforts you are fantasizing about? When will you wake up in the shared delusion that is the world around you and existence for everybody that you know? Is Utopia any where near? Can you last until your point of view is the accepted point of view? And now you know, the answer to all these questions is inadequate to sustain you and you once again give into the delusion. You go and search for the cog that is missing in the delusion and take the place that it serves.

But maybe there is a way of serving the delusion without giving into the whole. You look for something that is “out of the way” or “off the scope”. You look for the stealthy ways of acquiring Greenbacks. You search for easy ways to generate the Greenback income to survive so you may then live the life you want to live without the delusion encompassing your whole twenty-four hour existence.

The realization of what needs to be done hits you and starts a revitalization within you. It is the conundrum of the Greenback, you may hate it, but it feels good to be in pursuit of it. In fact it feels great to be part of the big machine. It feels wonderful knowing you are an eager participant in the race of acquiring more Greenbacks than the Jones’s next door over. And every time you pull out an imp to pay for that new top-of-the-line computer and pair of fashionable shoes you make yourself more and more the Greenbacks slave and give the imps more opportunity in the future to harass you unrelentingly. You are again part of the delusion and you love it. You love it until something breaks in your little system and then you hate the fact that you ever got involved in the Greenback delusion at all.

But you set aside the idea of the delusion and pursue the Greenback again. You immerse in the delusion and chase your vanity filled dreams that the Greenback can fulfill. You are again wallowing in the illusion that everything is alright, and you thank the Greenback for it.

God bless the Greenback Demon, we love you, for now.

Up until last night I had never seen ANYBODY pick the $1,000,000 case, and last night it happened, TWICE. Two people picked the $1,000,000 case in one show. What were the odds? Simple, the odds of this happening were 676:1, AGAINST.

So, knowing now what we know and have speculated about in the last article, what do you think the results were? Did either one of the people walk away with the million? At least they walked away with lots of money, right? They were above average for sure, after all, they had the million in their cases, so they hit the average for sure, right? Nope, both players we highly “Risk Adverse” and bailed out early. In the case of Mister “Gung Ho” army, who was so sure he had the $1,000,000 – he ended his run with a mere $99,000. Then there was the poor bagpipe maker, totally broke and without even a bed, he stopped at a pitiful $81,000 with the million in his case. So, what does this show us…

Let’s look carefully at the two games, for surely we can learn something.

Mr. Army was a nice guy, patriotic, gung ho, and full of spite and vinegar for a man in his 70’s. He started out ok, picked one high amount in the first six (right in line with the odds) and then got a great offer from the bank, but of course, no one takes the first offer because everyone knows that the first offer is low balled. He continued, picked five more cases and two more large amounts came off the board, but he still had the $1,000,000 of course and I believe $200,000 and $300,000. He was in good shape and the offer was huge at over $130,000. For whatever reason the banker highballed him early and he turned it down. OK, I buy that. Next round he knocked out the $300,000 and then his wife chimed in when the offer from the banker came in at $99,000; He took the deal. With two large amounts left, he took the deal and ended what could have been a good run. Then came the “Was it a good deal?” part of the show where Howie goes through the remaining case to see if you made a good deal. Turns out, had he continued to play, he could have walked away with $230,000 had he used my system. One the other hand, Mr. “I’m so sure I have the million”, would have won the million had he stuck to his convictions. Here is the thing though, top offer from the bank came to over $500,000 as it has to, he could have gone this far and really racked it up. Then of course, had he stayed all the way, $1,000,000 would have been his. If he got out when I said, there were 5 cases left, maybe he should then have risked it.

Bagpipe Man was even worst, and by the second round he took the money at $81,000. Again they played it out, and had he stayed in using my play would have walked away with $201,000, a bit better than what he got. But let’s remember where he is coming from, he is totally broke, and $81,000 is a huge amount to him. His risk aversion level was WAY lower than most peoples. In his eyes he was making a lot of money. But then again, he left with three huge amounts on the board. This was a stupid time to bail, but bail he did.

In the case of Mr. A I think that had he played the game right he would have asked himself, do I take a 1 in 5 chance at a million? In the case of Mr. B the same question but 1 in 6 chance at a million. This sets the stage for some interesting thought, what level of money would you risk for a chance at $1,000,000. Maybe there should be a new rule:

Rule Five (proposed): Ask yourself the question, at what point would you risk a chance for a million? 1 in 7? 1 in 5? 1 in 3? If you meet or surpass the odds you have placed for yourself, then commit and go all the way regardless the outcome.

If you hit it, you hit and you’re financially well off. If you miss at least you can say you had the guts to go all the way which very few contestants actually do. If you loose, you can say you had fun, hopefully mean it, and consider it a nice mini-vacation on NBC.

Personally in both cases I would have baled out when my system said to bale because I think for me a 1 in 4 chance never would have happened. So, I too would have not been a million dollar winner, but I would have walked away with more than the two did last night.

Last night was a classic case of how the banker plays the risk adverse. He pegged them, especially Mr. A. The offer of $99,000 was aimed right at the wife and he, being a good husband, listened and totally blew him out of the water. As for Mr. B there was no way of knowing he would be THAT risk adverse, but the offer was right on based on for how he was acting. I would say, last night we had the opportunity for two winners, but the bank bluffed it just right and shot them down.

This game has now officially gotten interesting.

Why bother writing about a game show? Well, because the game show is so inanely simple that it got my attention. And maybe, just maybe there is more to the game than just picking suitcases and accepting a deal. Maybe the game is all about timing and not entirely luck.

I am not going to explain the game, if you have not tuned into NBC to watch this show by now, then you are living without a TV or not at all up on pop culture. To summarize though, people pick cases with dollar amounts in them from $.01 to $1,000,000. They pick a case that is “theirs” and as the game progresses the Banker tries to buy that case from the player and thus maybe settle the proposition for less than what is in the case. The player wants the opposite, higher and higher offers, or with luck, going all the way and winning a million dollars.

OK, it seems simple, a random set of cases and a random set of “picks”. But there is more to the game than that if you look at it. This is a game of information too, sort of like Blackjack, it is a game that can be beat. Why? Well even thought the cases are set up in a random fashion, as they open cases we learn what the remaining cases look like. Just as in Blackjack where a player who is counting can increase and decrease bets depending on the remaining cards in the deck to either safeguard his money or increase it in favorable situations, we have here a similar situation as to when to stop and take the money or when to push your luck and make more. This is the first element to understanding the deeper game.

The game has a bit of a wild card however, and that is “the Banker”. This is the character that gives the players the offers to buy the case that the player picked. How the Banker gets to the offer is a matter of a bit of math called derivatives. Simply put in this case, add up all the amounts of the remaining cases, then divide by the number remaining and you get a derived average. This number is the absolute fair amount that the Banker should offer for the spot you are in the game. Usually the Banker will round off to the nearest $1,000 but there is more here too. The Banker then adds an element of psychology and will either “Low Ball” or once in a while “High Ball” the offers depending on how the player is thinking which is usually out loud.

Just so you know, if the Banker were to give an offer right after the player picks the case, a fair offer would be about $130,000 dollars, but the offer after the first round rarely goes above $30,000, thus the Banker is “Low Balling” the offer to egg on the game. If the offer for the first round were not low balled and right on fair, too many people would take the first offer and go home because it could be an offer up to about $145,000. So, the first few offers are usually low balled. Besides, the number of $130,000 is in the “Risk Aversion” range which is another element to the game.

So the game starts out with the Banker low balling the offers to get the game rolling, but it does not always stay that way. Lets just say that a player after a few rounds does well and wipes out most of the low possible amounts and only a couple of the giant six digit amounts. Well, things start happening at this point and the Bankers job becomes more critical. Remember the Banker wants to get you to take an offer lower that what is in your case. As he game balances on the high side it behooves the Banker to Highball the offer to entice the players to take the deal. Here is where the game gets tricky, do you take the great offer of risk what is in your case. In other words, what is your “Risk Aversion” level. When the offer gets to a certain level people start thinking about their risk aversion, that point where the money is too good to pass up. For most people that number is any six digit offer. When you get into this range, this is where the head games come into play and a set of guidelines on how to play it become useful. (I find that it is interesting that the aversion level is about where the game starts out, and any deal over the $130,000 level is a good deal, not what you happen to have in your case.)

But when you think about it, the game is rigged to a lower amount. If the game were totally fair the average winnings would be $500,000. Why, well $.01 + $1,000,000 rounds to $500,000 and thus a totally equitable game, but that is not where the games averages. So, the house is against you simply from the amounts in the cases. OK, we can live with that, but you should know you are playing a loosing game. Once you know where the starting derivative is, you see that the first 21 cases are ALL beneath the $130,000 staring average. What does that mean? It means you only have a 5 in 26 (about 1 in 5) chance of getting a case better than the average. Opps, not really good odds after all. So it is shear luck after all? Well, yes and no.

So we have the following factors in how to play the game. The first is the idea of knowing the remaining amounts and judging when to quit. The second is your level of risk aversion, and how much intestinal fortitude you have. Third, the odds are very much against you. My job, formulate a set of rules that will allow you to get as much out of the game safely and above the average of $130.000.

Rule One: Watch the large amounts. If you loose 4 of the 5 large amounts, give up and go with your gut because you are not going to hit $130,000.

Rule Two: Do not make a deal while you have at least two of the large amounts. This is the most important rule you have.

(Why? Well the idea on the show is called a safety net and they are correct, especially when you get to the point of opening one case at a time. The idea here is that you can loose one big amount while still maintaining a decent bank offer. Even if you have the big one in your case (which you will not know unless everything except the big amounts have been picked.) Your best off taking the offer than going all the way. Remember, the odds of you picking one of the big amounts was roughly 1 in 5 and 1 in 26 for the million. So, if you have a choice between a small amount and large amount, take the offer.)

Rule Three: Any offer over $260,000 should be seriously considered unless your board includes two remaining large amounts including or over $500,000.

Rule Four: Follow your instincts. Do you honestly think you have a huge amount in your case? If so, follow your instincts because in the end, it is the only way of getting the million. If you are left with $1.00, $500 and $1,000,000, personally I would take the risk of a now (technically) one in three chance at a million. It goes against rule two, but maybe there is something to be said about a “Once in a Lifetime Chance”.

So why do they do it this way? Well let’s see… if everyone were to go all the way regardless of what the board says, only 5 of every 26 players would be a winner and the game would be boring. This is a game of “Risk Aversion” and the fun part is to watch that battle in the players between risk and greed. If the rules above are not followed, you can be pretty sure the player is being greedy. This can be fun, even if Howie Mandel characterizes the actions as “gambling” or “Once in a Lifetime”. And ultimately this is why we watch it, we want to see how greed takes down a player from an offer of $300,000 to finally getting only $1.00. Now that is fun for us, heart wrenching for the players, pure ratings points for the show.

Some interesting things I would like to see….

The Beginning Bale Out: Open the case when picked and take half of the amount. Interesting offer, good for the bank. Also, if the player is one the is all huggy/kissy, Howie would apprieciate the chance at getting rid of those players early. In fact, this could be a “Howie Special” and he can choose to offer it when he feels like it.

Mid Game Bale Out: After a few rounds if the board is against the player, (say no or only one huge amount left) the banker offers a “Take what is in your case at double or nothing.” This is again a good bet for the bank, but could have a rare spectacular result. Also, this would end “looser” games faster since they tend to be boring.

The Wild Card: Add a twenty-seventh case and the offer in it is “Pick any case and go home”. Again, this could have a fun result. (When the case is picked it is either acted on or not but the player picks again. If it is picked and in the players case, a new set of case comes out and they pick one case from a fresh lot and go home with that.)

Take a Peek: What this does is it lets the player peek at what is in his case and exchange it for what is in the “Peek” case. Slightly bumps up the odds in favor of the player, but then again could hurt too. The player if they turns down the swap, he then immediately takes what is in his case.