Did anyone notice that our justice and penal system got totally trounced today? Was funding removed? Nope. Did a new law pass gutting the system? No. Did someone declare marshal law somewhere? Certainly not. It was worse than all of that, Paris Hilton pulled a “Get out of Jail Free” card and is now at home serving her time as any proper heiress should.

So your reaction is “So what did you expect” or “Who cares about the rich brat” or some other nonplused sentiment. If that is all you are feeling you may want to put a little more indignation into your mood, because you should be totally outraged. You should be totally outraged because if you were sent to jail for your misdemeanor charges you could not claim an “unspecified medical ailment” and be sent to a mansion with an ankle bracelet and a personal chef. Because you are not a rich, stuck-up, fashion hog, you would be laughed at and would suffer your “medical condition” in a cold cell like everyone else.

So, we have now proved what has only been suspected and never really proven before; being rich buys you above and around the law. Fame is worth having because it means you get special treatment from the law. Rich and famous means you can do anything you want, hurt as many people you want, endanger whoever you want and as long as you pay off enough people you’re free.

Someday if I ever go before a judge and he sentences me, I will say “Sir, I want the same confinement as Paris Hilton. Please send me to a Beverly Hills mansion with all the amenities to serve my time. After all, the system has set precedence. I want Paris Hilton confinement.”

Now once I am there I can call all my friends over to have a party! I can order anything I want to make my “confinement” as carefree as possible. With “Paris” confinement who cares if I really reflect on the crimes I have done or if I feel remorseful, certainly all that is less important than the facial I need right now. Oh, and pass the bonbons please.

On the other hand, it also mean that if for some reason the judge or prosecutors do not like you, your sentence can be worse than expected. Why? Because by giving Paris Hilton her special treatment you have basically scrapped the sentencing guidelines and they (the system) are free to do whatever they want. So now you get pissed off at the judge and call him a self righteous son of a bitch (something he can’t do anything about because Freedom of Speech is a right) and then he sentences you to ten years hard time in a super max prison all over a j-walking ticket. But before Paris Hilton the worst he could do is fine you $35 and court fees of another $64. Gee Paris, thanks for fucking me up royally. Why couldn’t you be an adult and serve your time like everyone else.

You know, my daughter tried to pull the time served routine on me when she was little and grounded. She would get all pouty and glassy-eyed and in her most pathetic voice ask for reprieve. It didn’t work on me, but unfortunately it worked on her mother. So, on the whole I guess we are teaching our young girls a bad set of behaviors; whine enough and you get what you want. Paris Hilton is the epitome of whiny girl appeased.

Maybe there is a better sentence for the likes of Paris Hilton while we are changing the rules. Maybe we can be more creative and have the sentence be done and over with in a couple of minutes rather than days and weeks.  Paris Hilton needs a spanking.

Now all you fetishists go away, same with you B&D folks, I am serious. I think she needs a public spanking with a nice wide paddle. I think it should be televised. I think the public humiliation is exactly what Paris Hilton needs to make her think about how she treats the world. I think that people she doesn’t even know should come up to her on the street and laugh at her for the rest of her life, reminding her of her humiliation. If she changes, people will stop reminding her of her spanking. On the other hand if she doesn’t change, well, she get what she deserves. Either way, since she is so in the public eye, her sentence should be as public.

What do you think, 20 nice hard swats enough?