When congress asked the oil companies as to why the prices of gasoline were so high, they said that there were two elements, the rising price of oil per barrel and the lack of production facilities. When asked if the oil companies were planning more refineries they said “No, we can keep up with production.” I guess not a single congressman understood that reply was the tip off to why they were making BILLIONS AND BILLIONS of profit per year.

The problem with using the price of oil per barrel as an index is that the costs of refining the oil IS NOT tied to that index. In short the cost to refine is constant and while the cost of the oil may rise. The oil companies want you to think they are spending money on development when in actuality they have paid their development cost and are pocketing the profits that would go into new development. They don’t want to open more refineries, they don’t want to search for more oil, and they certainly do not want to perform research that would maximize the efficient use of non-oil based fuels. Some of the oil companies may want you think they “think green”, but really, the amount they spend is a joke compared to what they make in profits. (Also, if they do happen upon a really efficient way of using some other form of energy they can patent it and keep it off the market.)

The oil companies want you to not blame them for making BILLIONS AND BILLIONS because it is “THE MARKETS FAULT”. They want you to think that with all the record profits that they are NOT raking in enough! They are being so self sacrificing by having to accept these BILLIONS AND BILLIONS in profits they do not know what to do… Oh come on…

I heard a new term the other day and I figure that it make perfect sense to apply to the oil companies; WINDFALL TAX! How about we tax the profit to Kingdom Come and see just how fast the price of gas falls.

The problem is that on the quarterly FEC filings under expenditure they can claim things like “exploration and development” as costs of doing business, and who know how much of that is totally made up. Where is there proof of exploration. Where are the results of development? I do not see it making a difference in the cost of gas, so what good is it? Meanwhile the oil companies haul in BILLIONS AND BILLIONS in profits…

I got to buy stock in Exxon or Chevron, because god knows I am paid for the shares at the pump already!

So why is Barack Obama not hitting Hilary Clinton in the race for the democratic nomination? Do you think it is because there is nothing to hit her on? You think that the past is just the past and if that were brought up it would be ignored? No, it is simpler than that. He can’t use negative campaigning because then it will be the big black man attacking the white woman and that does not play in white America.

You think I am wrong? You think that white America has outgrown this type of racism? If so you had better ask yourself if what I say is not true and be honest with yourself.

Barack has no choice but to take the hits and play softball with the attacking remarks. He has to be certain what he says it true and even then it has to have some relevance. Of course it helps when the press points out Hilary’s lies and misstatements then Barack can just “Yeah, that’s right” the stories and not be the attacker. Very neat. But to initiate really vitriolic negative advertising would sink Barack’s chances in a blink of an eye. It is bad enough he has to justify everything and everyone in his life and has done an incredible job of countering every (most) criticism.

But you have to give him credit for keeping his cool. I swear I hear this stuff and I get mad at Hilary for him. More and more women that I know are all moving over to Obama because they are ashamed at the attacks Clinton(s) keep making. Hilary insists the campaign is not about race, but Bill takes every opportunity to point out that he’s black. If the Clinton campaign is a two for one sort of thing (and I pray that in the end it is not) then you got two messages coming out of two different holes. So who do you attack, a former President? It is a no win for Barack.

It is bad enough that the Clinton strategy seems to be do and say whatever you can to get nominated and then apologize later, but he has to contend with two fairly untouchable people. But to his credit he has kept calm and restrained his people and has kept message on target and cleaner than it needs to be.

All I know is that every time Hilary opens her mouth the more and more I’m in Obama’s camp. I am fed up with the whining and conniving. I have had I up to here with the “misspoken” statements by both Hilary and Bill. They know they are lying when they speech, and you know what, it is becoming real obvious to everyone else. I certainly will never believe and “folksy” story she related, and of course that mean how can I believe a word she says.

I’m done… I mean I am really done… is TV Land showing reruns of the Beverly Hillbillies? … No, but MSNBC is.

Hey Dems, you might want to wake up to the fact that the “Big Lie” may kill you in short order and you will have lost yet another Presidential race. The lie: Barack Obama is unelectable. Why? Well glad you asked…

At this point you have a country watching a democratic candidate acting like a real child and her name is Hilary Rodham Clinton. She agrees to the rules of the game and now that the game is not going her way she tries to change the rules. While that may play when you ARE president, it does not fly when you are running for president and in a country like the United Stated of America where fair play is cherished. That’s why we like our sports so much and don’t mind it when the ref blows the whistle. The problem is the refs in this case seem to be deaf and dumb and called the DNC.

Anyway, when Clinton keeps spouting the “Big Lie” and the DNC does not call her on it they are setting themselves up for trouble because people may just well believe it. The fact is that no one knows just how Obama will fare in a race against McCain. In fact if the poles are any indication the race would be rather close and by all accounts a real wonderful exercise in American politics. And let’s face it, there is no assurance that Hilary would win against McCain in any case, and Hilary has a lot of skeletons that can be dug up.

At this point Obama can pretty much cruise to a win of the democratic popular vote and a win of democratic convention delegates. And even though he does not have the majority of “super-delegates”, as the air clears and he is shown to be the true winner the supers will come over to his side. But then there is the “Big Lie:…

OK, again according to poles Hilary has her voters convinced that Obama is the wrong guy. In fact if Hilary is not the nominee like 40% of her voters will either not vote or even vote McCain. INCREDIBLE! Bad enough not to vote, but to go over to the Republican ticket is like losing TWO votes. Wow! And the longer this goes on the more the party is going to separate, the more the Republicans will enjoy the win that is coming and coming fast.

Now if for whatever reason Clinton does get the nomination the Dems are in a heap of trouble anyway. Hilary may have the older voters, but all the new voters and the converted voters are all for Barack and since they no longer have their guy to vote for the likelihood that they just stay home goes through the roof and now the number of democratic voters plummets. Oops. Say what you may about the Republicans, when push comes to shove they back their boy and get out the vote. If they do get out the vote and even engender some new ones the race is up for grabs and Hilary is not as strong against McCain.

The Big Lie, the more you say it the more people believe it.

So I need to make some money on the side to live in the modest style I have unfortunately become accustom to. So the thought has been rattling around my head, what can I do and get paid for it? What unique talents do I have that set me apart from the population? Well, I am good with computers.

I mean who is it that all of my friends turn to when they need help with their computers? Yours’ truly. Who do people ask when they are having trouble with a web site? Yours’ truly. And who is it that people go to when surfing the web has become a thing of danger? Yours’ truly; so why not teach people what I do on computers and get paid for it? Thus, I present to you my selection of computer lessons. Each lesson is linked to a more detailed description.

For absolute novices (but good for all):

Computer Basics I (Parts)
Computer Basics II (Interoperations)
Computer Basics III (Buying your new computer)
Computer Basics IV (Setup and Environment)
Computer Basics V (Getting Online)
Computer Basics VI (Transferring your Data)
New Computer Day! (All the above, all day!)

For beginners with computers:

Window 2000, XP, Vista
Understanding Your Data (Storing, Organizing, and Backing up)
Crash Recovery (and how not to get caught in a crash)
THE INTERNET I: Facts, Myths, and Common Sense
THE INTERNET IIa: Microsoft Internet Explorer
THE INTERNET IIb: Mozilla Firefox
THE INTERNET IIc: All other browsers
THE INTERNET III: Your Information (Being Safe)
THE INTERNET IV: Surfing
THE INTERNET V: Searching
THE INTERNET VI: Web II (Social Networking)
THE INTERNET VII: Email (Web Based)
THE INTERNET DAY! (All Internet, All Day)

For intermediate users:

Microsoft Word 2003, 2007
Microsoft Excel 2003, 2007
Microsoft Outlook 2003
Microsoft Power Point 2003
Microsoft FrontPage 2003

Web creation and programming:

HTML 4.2 (Concepts, Construction and Methods)
XHTML 1.0 (Concepts, Construction and Methods)
CSS 2.1+ (Concepts, Construction and Methods)
JavaScript (Concepts, Construction and Methods)
WebPage and WebSite Design (Concepts, Construction and Methods)
Web Tools (FTP, Mail, Browsers)
Web Services (whois, search, domain handling and administration)
UltraEdit
Adobe PDF
PERL (Client Side Installation)
PERL (Basic Programming Syntax)
PERL (Programming)
PHP (Programming)

And for the artistic people out there:

Corel Draw (All Versions)
Corel Paint (All Versions)
Understanding Image Formats (Raster and Vector)
Digital Photography Basics
Digital Photography Advanced (requires DSLR)
Digital Photography Digital Darkroom

If there is anything I have left out, let me know, but I think I got all my strong points. I could probably teach just about any topic that is computer related with some prep time, I am good that way.

So why should I be your teacher other than the fact that I have been working with computers since 1978? Well, I was one of the first webmasters on the web. In 1995 I was the Quarterdeck Webmaster. I then went on to webmaster for DPSC, See Beyond, Emblaze and finally WebRadio.com where I was eventual Director of Web Development and “teaching” a team of programmers. Later on I specialized in web data collection tracking 600 million emails a day for Stargate 2000. In addition to these positions I was also part of the early HTML team with the W3C and the Java Programming team for the Emblaze/Intel Strong Arm III Chip that provided web access on cell phones. Finally, this site is using the plugins I have written with the core PHP programming provided by EE. These plugins are used all over the internet now.

So, if you are in the Las Vegas area and want me to teach you let me know. Send an email to jeff@lvpctutor.com and we will work out a schedule.

Pricing:
All lessons are $25 an hour. All day lessons are $100 and I set aside a 5 hour block, over the 5 hours is at the hourly rate. (This is one-on-one training only)

Software:
I do not provide software. If you require training in a particular program please acquire it before the lesson, we can install it as part of the lesson (recommended). All software must be legally registered. (If you have questions about this, please ask.)

Books:
On occasion I will recommend a book that is appropriate to the subject at hand. I will recommend it in advance to give you time to get it. I do not provide the books. However, all these lessons are hands on and the book is NOT required, just recommended.

Out of Area Travel:
If you are out of the Las Vegas Area the rates change. If out of Las Vegas I rent a car and will expect that to be covered. Hourly rate is $50 and hour. Daily rate is $400 a day (8 hour max). If I am required to spend the night I can bill the room or you can provide accommodations as needed. These details can be worked out in advance and are generally in conjunction with Group Classes, in which case the higher rate prevails.

Group Classes:
In the case of multiple students, use following rates:

2-6 students $20 each per hour
7-12 students $17.50 each per hour
13-20 students $15 each per hour
21-40 students $12.50 each per hour

In the case of group classes, your group must provide the space for the class and the computers for the students. I will not teach a class situation where the ratio of students to computers is higher than 3:1. All group classes are a minimum of 3 hours but I highly recommend 5 hours of instruction with an hour break. Classes of this type require a 50% advance and the balance on completion. Travel expenses apply outside Las Vegas.

Class Descriptions:

Computer Tutor Class and Course:
For absolute novices (but good for all):

Computer Basics I (Parts): You can’t run a computer unless you know what is what and what is where on a computer. This is a detailed lesson that will allow you to know what everything does and why it does it. Input, output, storage, memory, network devices and displays are covered; what to look for and what to avoid.

Computer Basics II (Interoperations): Now that you know the parts you should know how to put them all together. Detailed information on what goes into where and the options that are available. Covers WiFi, Blue Tooth, USB I and II and other peripheral connections. Installing memory cards and other add-on cards is also covered.

Computer Basics III (Buying Your New Computer): It’s time for your new computer or your first computer, but what computer do you get and what’s right for you? Discussion of all the questions you should ask, what you need for what you intend to do with your computer, and how to shop for your next computer. Plus, should you build your own computer?

Computer Basics IV (Setup and Environment): Time to put the last three lessons into action. We get the computer home, set it up and adjust your environment for best performance. Talk about the chairs you use and the desks you need, and other matters concerning ergonomic computing.

Computer Basics V (Getting Online): The Internet awaits you, but how should you get on? Do you want to use a dial-up account? Is DSL or cable modem good for you? Should you set up a Wifi system? If so, do you need a router? So many things to think about, this lesson will help clarify the situation.

Computer Basics VI (Transferring Your Data): Now that you have your new computer all set up, you need to move over your old data if you had any on another computer. Parallel linking, USB linking, Network Sharing are all covered in this lesson on moving files from one computer to another.

New Computer Day! (All Basics, All Day!): This is the intense all day version of the above lessons with a trip to the computer store to choose and buy a computer if you so choose. Then we set it all up and get you running in a way you understand. One other topic covered as well: What to do with your old computer.

Computer Tutor Class and Course:
For beginners with computers:

Window 2000, XP, Vista: Do you understand what is going on with your computer? Do you know what the operating system is? Do you know what services are? How about the start folder, do you know what goes there? This lesson is a tour of what your computer does and how it does it even without programs.

Understanding Your Data (Storing, Organizing, and Backing up): Learning to organize you data correctly is probably one of the most important things to learn when you start using a computer.  Learn why shoving all your files into “My Documents” folder is not safe. Learn how to organize your files and keep them safe from common virus attacks.

Crash Recovery (and how not to get caught in a crash): Everyone, and I do mean everyone has their computer crash once in a while, there is no way around it. I do not care if your computer is a Mac, Windows, Linux, Unix or something else, your computer will crash on you sometime. Learn how to be ready for a crash and minimize the damage it does.

THE INTERNET I: Facts, Myths, and Common Sense: Don’t believe everything you hear about the Internet, you will be surprised at how much misinformation is out there. Let me clear the air for you. KNOW WHERE YOU ARE and learn to read that URL correctly.

THE INTERNET IIa: Microsoft Internet Explorer: Learn the ins and outs of MSIE. Learn how to surf the web, save files, subscribe to news feeds and more. Learn how to set up your browser so you won’t pick up any viruses or run malicious programs.

THE INTERNET IIb: Mozilla Firefox: Learn the ins and outs of Mozilla. Learn how to surf the web, save files, subscribe to news feeds and more. Learn how to set up your browser so you won’t pick up any viruses or run malicious programs.

THE INTERNET IIc: All other browsers: Learn the ins and outs of unusual browsers. Learn how to surf the web, save files, subscribe to news feeds and more. Learn how to set up your browser so you won’t pick up any viruses or run malicious programs.

THE INTERNET III: Your Information (Being Safe): Who’s safe and who’s not. Are you on a site that wants to hurt you or are you ok filling out that form in front of you? Learn how to tell the good from the bad.

THE INTERNET IV: Surfing: This is a fun lesson and I will show you how to surf like a pro. Learn to bookmark like a maniac and then organize your links in folders. Download files and images and save them. Installing safe plugin for your browser to help you get news feeds.

THE INTERNET V: Searching: One of the most interesting thing to do on the web is searching. I hear it all the time, I searched for it but couldn’t find something. Learn the tricks of the trade to better searches and how to select keywords. Use some of the more advanced Google searches and services.

THE INTERNET VI: Web II (Social Networking): It’s what all the kids are doing, so why not get your own place on MySpace or FaceBook. Can you just see your son or daughter now when they find your picture on the computer looking back at them. Learn to customize your “Space”.

THE INTERNET VII: Email (Web Based): There are two ways to get email, you can use a program like Outlook, Eudora or Thunderbird to retrieve your email to your computer, or you can learn to set up free accounts on Yahoo, AOL, or MSN. Learn to set up “throw away” accounts. Discover strategies to avoid spam.

THE INTERNET DAY! (All Internet, All Day): All of the above Internet lessons in one intense day of learning. Cover it all and have a lot of fun doing it. Plus: Tips on keeping track of passwords and user names, making good passwords, scheduling changing your passwords (and using Outlook to set the reminders).

Computer Tutor Class and Course:
For intermediate users and office users:

Microsoft Word 2003, 2007: This could be as extensive as you need it to be. The topics that are likely to be covered are: Creating documents, saving documents, editing documents, adding tables, adding objects, formatting the page, using different views to different types if editing, Word Art, change tracking, using the tools and much more.

Microsoft Excel 2003, 2007: Excel is a very powerful program, learn how to use it to its full potential. Learn to format cells and data, add formula, tricks for making data automatically, importing and exporting data. Special attention is paid to creating graphs and charts. Use of Excels complete Help System allow you to find methods quickly with examples of use.

Microsoft Outlook 2003: Where would the advanced computer user be without his/her Outlook. This PIM is the heart of a users productivity. Email, scheduler, address book, task list, journal, and memo holder allow you to organize all your info for quick access. Add email accounts and learn how to manage email with rules and actions.

Microsoft Power Point 2003: Maybe the best presentation software on the market, if you need to put on a show this is for you. Learn all about simple slide shows to slide shows that are HyperMedia. Add sounds and motion your presentations.

Microsoft FrontPage 2003: When it comes to web site production, I turn to FrontPage for all my initial design. FP handles HTML better than any other program out there producing clean and precise code. Learn how to use all the views and all the short cuts to creating cutting edge webs.

Computer Tutor Class and Course:
Web creation and programming:

HTML 4.2 (Concepts, Construction and Methods): In learning HTML I do not teach just the tags and all the attributes, I teach the concepts on how a document is looked at on the web and how you need to structure your documents to be in compliance with web standards.

XHTML 1.0 (Concepts, Construction and Methods): Similar to HTML, in learning XHTML I do not teach just the tags and all the attributes, I teach the concepts on how a document is looked at on the web and how you need to structure your documents to be in compliance with web standards.

CSS 2.1+ (Concepts, Construction and Methods): Cascading Style Sheets allow the programmer to create simple pages rich with style. Learn about how to use style sheets to create templates and dynamic actions on web pages. This is advanced instruction.

JavaScript (Concepts, Construction and Methods): While Javascripts are less in fashion these days, being replaced by server side scripting, this is still something to know to create powerful web pages. This is advanced instruction.

WebPage and WebSite Design (Concepts, Construction and Methods): Webpages and Websites should not just be a bunch of links and some text on a page, there should be some coherence to the design. Learn to create well formed pages and sites by asking the right questions and using the right models.

Web Tools (FTP, Mail, Browsers): There are more tools to learn when you start web authoring, FTP clients and such and dealing with ISP’s and hosting services. Also, learn the difference between the browsers and how to create cross browser compatible pages.

Web Services (whois, search, domain handling and administration): You need a domain, so who do you register with? Where do you host at? How much bandwidth do you need, how much storage space or databases do you need? What services are available? How do I transfer a domain? These and MANY more answers are yours in this particular lesson.

UltraEdit: UltraEdit by IDM Software is one of the best text editors of all time. I have been using it for years and I never let me subscription lapse because it is so useful. This is a survey of all the features and functions.

Adobe PDF: Portable Document Format (PDF) is an excellent way of being sure your documents are available on all computer platforms. Learn the ins and outs of PDF Reader and Writer. Requires Abode PDF Writer installed and registered.

Perl (Client Side Installation): Practical Extraction and Reporting Language (Perl) is both a client and server side scripting language. Learn to install the runtimes and write simple scripts that run on your computer.

Perl (Basic Programming Syntax): The strength of Perl is in its server side scripting ability. This is an advanced class covering the basic of Perl programming and syntax.

Perl (Programming): Feel the power of Perl as you create more sophisticated web applications and access databases or create text databases if DB are not available from your host. Covers Object Oriented Perl and using CPAN to accelerate your programming.

PHP (Programming): Personal Home Page (PHP) started as a few simple tools and now has grown to a full fledged programming language. Similar to Perl, create dynamic pages using this programming language.

Computer Tutor Class and Course:
And for the artistic people out there:

Corel Draw (All Versions): This popular graphics program is one of the most powerful in professional use. I can honestly say that even years after starting to use it I am still learning. Take advantage of my experience and get a jumpstart in becoming a graphics pro. Covers the graphic objects interface as well.

Corel Paint (All Versions): You could pay hundreds of dollars for PhotoShop, but I think Painter does it all and as well as PhotoShop for less and is easier to use. Learn the ins and outs of this powerful program.

Understanding Image Formats (Raster & Vector): Think you know what an image file is? You know how they work? Bet you don’t. Learn what to use where here. Learn how to limit palettes and reduces file sizes. Find out about paletting and super-paletting.

Digital Photography Basics: This class covers the basics of your digital camera and the basics of good photography. Learn how to use the light, compose a picture, and make proper exposures and why it is important in digital photography.

Digital Photography Advanced (requires DSLR): Covers advanced topics of exposure and composition, including Depth of Field. Also, exposure compensation, manual focusing, bracketing, flash use and more. (Practical hands on experience, figure this is an all day class.)

Digital Photography Digital Darkroom: You have taken your pictures, now what? Bring them into your computer, adjust the color, and print! Find out all the little tricks photographers use to make you go “Wow” when you look at their pictures. Retouching also covered.

I do not know what prompted the latest surge of humming Schoolhouse Rock ditties in our apartment, but for whatever reason we have. The problem of course is that the last time I really watched them was 30 years ago. In that time the tunes and the words can really get confused so I took it upon myself to watch them again and at least learn them well enough to hum them correctly. In doing so I found out how really excellent these three minute lessons were.

Grammar Rock

There were 7 original “grammar” lessons and 2 additional that came out like 5 year later. When you talk to people about Schoolhouse Rock one of the two people really remember is “Conjunction Junction”. What I did not realize was how in depth they went into conjunctions, even to explain the symbolic logic behind them. I was impressed. Here is the list of Grammar Rock videos, mostly compliments of YouTube.com:

Unpack Your Adjectives
Lolly, Lolly, Lolly, Get Your Adverbs
Conjunction Junction
Interjections
Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla
Verb: That’s What’s Happening
A Noun is a Person, Place or Thing
Busy Prepositions
The Tale of Mr. Morton

History Rock

History Rock has the number two most remembered lesson, “I’m Just a Bill”. Once again, time had eroded that one more than I expected and I was leaving out the whole refrain. Never the less it is one that once you know it you can’t help but love. In fact most of them are like that. I will say this, I would never have passed the assignment on the Preamble without Schoolhouse rock. If it weren’t for the little tune I would never have remembered it in front of a class; that I do remember.

No More Kings
Fireworks
The Shot Heard Round the World
The Preamble
Elbow Room
The Great American Melting Pot
Mother Necessity
Sufferin’ Till Sufferage
I’m Just a Bill
Three Ring Government
Electoral College

Multiplication Rock

I guess that the 1’s and 10’s times tables would have been too easy for kids to learn and thus they never did make them. I did not know that till I went to look up all the videos. They made “0” and did 11’s and 12’s (Little Twelve Toes being my personal favorite) to complete what most third graders are assigned, but I guess they were on a limited budget (which I can totally believe).

My Hero, Zero
Elementary My Dear
Three is a Magic Number
The Four-Legged Zoo
Ready or not, Here I Come
I Got Six
Lucky Seven Sampson
Figure Eight
Naughty Number Nine
The Good Eleven
Little Twelve toes

Science Rock

For whatever reason I did not really remember any of the Science Rock segments until I saw them again; then the memories flooded back. Most of these cover “body” issues like the bones and nervous system, but several others categories of science get touched on as well. You can see where if they tried to do justice to even a part of the sciences they would still be making these lessons even today.

The Body Machine
Do the Circulation
Electricity, Electricity
The Energy Blues
Interplanet Janet
Telegraph Line
Them Not-So-Dry Bones
Victim of Gravity
Greatest Show On Earth

Money Rock

During the early 80’s there was demand for more Schoolhouse Rock so they did a whole series on “money”. I do not remember these from when I was young; I guess was done with Saturday morning cartoons by then. Watching them now however, you can see the spark in them (if a bit more mature) that was present in the older ones. They are certainly fun to watch.

Where the Money Goes
Walking On Wallstreet
$7.50 Once a Week
Dollars and Sense
Tyrannosaurus Debt
The Check’s in the Mail
Tax Man Max
This for That

Computer Rock

Bet you never heard of that one huh? How about “Scooter Computer and Mr. Chips”? No? Well, neither had I until I went looking at all the stuff that was available because of course I have to have all the “lessons”. I could not find any video’s on these, but I did find some audio clips. Being a computer geek, I would actually love to see these vid’s so if you know where they are posted, let me know.

Scooter Computer Intro
Scooter Computer Hardware
Scooter Computer Software
Scooter Computer Number Cruncher

Satire Rock

Of course stuff this good has been satired a bunch of times, look up on YouTube.com for more of it. Here is a selection of the best that I think actually does justice to the Schoolhouse Rock genre.

Nike Ad (to Three is a Magic Number)
Emperors and Pirates
Mad TV “Nouns"
Dysfunction Junction
Conspiracy Theory Rock
Exclamations
Nutrition

I really love this stuff, so if you know of more of it, let me know. I do know there were several “Afternoon Specials” that had this stuff in it. If you remember them, pass that along too!

Well, I guess I have gone and done it, I finally made the big time. Turns out if you type “Gerbil Injection” into Google you get a MoM page “Urban Legend”. All the rest of the Google results are veterinary entries about actually injecting gerbils with something. I guess that makes me the “gerbil injection” expert on the web… No? … no (thank god).

Turns out I have the name of the sexual perversion wrong. The act of shoving a gerbil up you ass is actually called gerbilling or gerbil shoving. For more on this you can look under “Urban Legends; gerbils” or “About.com Urban legends; Gere and the Gerbil” or a gerbilling reference on tafkac.org, on the “StraightDope.com” or even “UrbanDictionary”. Also search the key words “Gerbilling”, “Gerbil Shoving”, and “Gerbilling Video” for a different take on the word.

Of all the items that people view, the Urban Legends entry is number one, believe it or not. It is number one because it is tagged as “gerbil injection” on Google. I know because I see the referrers in my logs. Interesting is that MoM does not show up on Yahoo at all. Oh well, there is no accounting for taste.

Hmm… I wonder how many other tags in Google rate me at the top of the pile?