With week one under my belt without a smoke, I feel as though I am going to burst. I want a cigarette so bad I can taste it.
Now I know that it is all psychological and there is no physical need for the nicotine, but damn, my head is working overtime. I am past the shakes and withdrawal of the nicotine (thank god) and my body is slowly restoring and cleansing, but the head keeps insisting on wanting a smoke. At least I know it is my head telling me I want a smoke, but that does not stop the craving at the time. I just have to work through the craving until it passes.
So, I have turned to sugar-free chewing gum. I am not sure this is a real good idea. Simply put, after chewing gum all day I can’t seem to eat other food normally, my jaw is all screwed up. Weird, I know, so I think I am going to have to find another way of satisfying my oral fixation.
Then there are my hands. I seem to be playing with a pen a hell of a lot more to keep my hands busy. This can get annoying too, I find I tap the pen against anything at hand and it gets me on end and nervous. At least it does not impede any other facets of my day-to-day life, so I can live with it.
There is one other side effect I am not too happy with however, and that is a physiological effect nicotine has on the body. Nicotine raises blood pressure. That being said, time in the sack has not been “up to par” lately. Now this is disturbing. I got the desire, I got the situations, but Big Jim and the Twins are just not rising to the occasion. I guess it is time to break out the “Blue Pill of Mens Health” and see if that helps the situation. I have used Viagra before, I know it works for me, so maybe I break it out and see how it goes. I hate having to rely on it, but if it helps…
Other things are returning and leaving me. Returning is my sense of smell. Now I had a very sensitive sense of smell before, even smoking, but now everything is so much stronger. I am not sure I want this heightened sense smell, it is so strong. Guess I will get used to it.
Leaving is shortness of breath. This was what alarmed me in the first place that there was a problem with the smoking, I was experiencing shortness of breath and that scared me. So now, while I still have a bout of short breath, it is becoming rarer, and that is good. Also, I seem to have a little more energy lately, probably because my sleep is a bit better and more oxygen is flowing through the veins.
But perhaps the weirdest thing is my mouth. When I smoked I never had a problem with keeping my mouth moist and such, but now, it is as if my mouth is raw and stinky. I can’t explain this one, maybe it is just me and a form of reverse self-psychology to get me to smoke again.
Anyway, the fight goes on, and hopefully I will get past all these cravings.