Here I am, writing a lot of stuff on topics that I may not be expert in, so how am I coming off. This entry is my reality check. Is this coming out as confident and knowledgeable, or is it just cocky and arrogant.
I was told recently that I lack confidence in myself. Really? Maybe I do in certain areas, but in other areas I think I may be too confident. Some of my fair-weather friends used to nick-name me ETSOAP (Ego The Size Of A Planet), and I often thought that was unfair. Sure, there were subjects that I would pontificate on, but they were subject that I knew and was sure about, I had every right to be confident, but that confidence came off as arrogance, and I stopped expounding on subjects I was sure about.

Now it seems that I may have gone the other way and seem to lack confidence. I tend to now couch subjects more tentatively and ask leading questions to the inquirer, so it seems like I may not know all that I do and lack confidence about making assumptions that I know are true.

Then there is the matter of me wanting good feedback. I mentioned that when I do something I like to do it well, call that the autodidact in me looking for re-enforcement. I often ask, “Was that good, did you like it?” and get answers like “What do you think?” which do not help, but I can assume it is a positive. But again, it makes me seem less self-assured than I may be.

With all this I know that I do not know it all. I am not the best there is, but that does not mean that I do not try to be. Let’s face a bit of reality here, there is always someone better than you, no matter who you are and even if you are the best, not everyone will agree. But this should not stop you from being the best you CAN be.

In subjects I am not versed in, I will ask questions, round out my knowledge. In activities that I want to excel, I will ask questions and look for positive feedback. Is this lack of confidence, maybe, but maybe it is just me looking to be better.