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Posted by HarshawJ in Musings
on Thursday, February 09, 2006 10:42:58 PM
in a "seductive" mood.

On Being Romantic

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Posted by on
02/10/06 02:33:30 PM

Brother of mine, you've hit the nail on the head. I ust say that yours is one of the best definitions of romantic behavior as it pertains to the male(hetero/ female(hetero) relationship as I have ever seen put into words.
I also agree that it is largely left up to the male to initiate this behavior, and that while the woman not only craves this behavior (for the most part), she will come to expect it. The problem is that for a lot of women, it is considered unromantic to mention this to a man. The idea of the romantic gesture is romantic only when it is his idea without prodding, in the minds of women. Where this misconception began is unknown. The problem arises between many men dealing with women under this misconception that men(in general) are straight-forward and do not respond well to 'hints' or non-verbal or sub-verbal cues. If you want us to do something, just ask or tell us and we're glad to respond because we know it will make you happy, and presumably that is what we want to do for you. However, having to come out and say it seems to ruin the experience for women.
Now, while I can be very romantic (in the broadest sense of the definition, and even in the specific circumstances we are talking about here), I dislike being expected to be romantic much of the time. I've spoken to many ladies, some of whom I was dating and some who were just acquaintances. Most of them like the Skinner Box method. If they know that they're going to get some romance from a man at some point and they don't have to hint around to get it, they are MORE pleased when it happens at random and without too great a frequency (making the occurance special). Those who require constant romance are valid in their own desires, but are too needy and high-maintainence for my liking.

Posted by HarshawJ on
02/10/06 04:38:19 PM

Yeah, there is something to the "Expected" angle of romance. When it is expected it is not comfortable. That kind of expectation then puts pressure on the relationship and that kind of pressure just deflates the whole romance.

After all it is so much more sincere when it is not expected and therefore so much more meaningful.

You are also correct in the fact the frequency plays into the romance as well. If you (as a man) start off as too romantic and then it become so regular, it looses it's meaning. Then if she does require the romance, then it may not be the right relationship for you. It is also probably too much to ask of one man to be constantly romantic. I agree, she then too high-maintainence to be around.

- JB

Posted by TxRose on
02/11/06 10:59:20 AM

I can't say that I agree. I have been around plenty of males who don't initiate the romance as much as I do. I am usually the one left to set the mood, create an ambiance for a romantic accord, or set up a situation for a romantic venture. I sure wish I could find a man who truly enjoyed the passion of romance as much as I do. I went on a date this week with one man who just might be that; who knows. Only time will tell for all certainty if that romantic date was all but a fluke.

I don't expect for my mate to be romantic ALL the time by any means; however, a glimpse into the romance of a relationship is a wonderful attribute to any relationship and aids in renewing a relationship's intensity.

I think a lot of men are afraid to be too romantic b/c they just might have to let loose a part of their female side of their soul seeking the sensitivities of a romantic situation. Most men seem unwilling to let go of the macho, tough image and let others see the softer side of them. Why is that????

I do agree with NS with the aspect of the spontaneous romance. There is nothing like having a romantic spontaniety in a relationship to let someone know that you truly care about them!!!

Posted by on
02/13/06 01:58:05 PM

TxRose... One would probably have to say that as a female, you are more the exception in this case than the rule. Most women think it is more romantic for him to take her out than vice versa. Most women are probably still stuck on mideval ideals of courtly love and chivalry than Susan B. Anthony or Sadie Hawkins -type ideas of interpersonal relationships, no matter how modern or liberated they claim to be.
Also, as to your comment about men being afraid to be romantic because they will look feminine, there is a great bit in the video Dysfunktional Family starring comedian Eddie Griffin. To paraphrase, men are natural givers and women natural receivers. Women get enjoyment from receiving a beautiful flower, while men enjoy giving that flower and the response in the woman that this gift creates. It also explains why men react a little off when a woman gives them a gift... they're not sure how to react. Something to think about...

Posted by TxRose on
02/14/06 02:27:18 AM

I know... I have given a guy I had been dating some tulips...and one time a potted geranium plant for his new office, which really took him off cue. Once, I surprised a guy with being at the half-way point of a MS150 race to show my support of him - he was sooooo very happy that I came.

Of course, I love the receiving as well....but, I am often the giver and sometimes will be taken by surprise when a guy truly gives of his heart (so I do understand what you are saying); just a bit of me and who I am.

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Posted by best romantic movies on
04/24/11 08:39:13 PM

i'm looking for some animes with a lot of romance in it, that have like some hot guys or the cute girls in it. like gakuen alice , mermaid melody, card-captor sakura, tokyo mew mew, these r just some of my favorite, i usually like animes when they guys fall in love w/h the girl first, instead of the girls always going ga-ga over them like cardcaptor sakura or gakuen alice, if u happen 2 come across any animes that have the things i said above, please please please tell me. i'm running out of good romance animes 2 watch. thanks a bunch,♥

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