I don’t understand people some times. Is it really so hard to admit there is a problem and need some help. I am not talking about an emotional or psychological problem, I am talking about an issue with your email?

Sure, none of want to admit that we can’t solve something so simple as an email account, but there are times that the seemingly simple is not so simple. Thus it was with a close friend of mine.

I give him access to my servers to run a few email accounts. Since I have an unlimited number of email accounts and host his domains, why not. I send him updates on traffic and what not, he runs his business and everything is good. Except when the servers are clogged with a DOS (Denial Of Service) attack or whatever, then it’s tinker time for my friend. He thinks because he knows a few things he knows what is going on. Well, is it any surprise that he screws up his account?

It is a pretty simple thing actually, I run my email servers on port 26, not 25 and with SSL to deny spammers from possible breaking in. Why port 26? Because most cable companies do not allow email relay (this decreases spam). Port 26 is usually not block thus useable. This is where it become interesting. He thinks he can fix it, that I had it all wrong. NOT.

So, after days of tinkering and his email boxes now full to the brim, I finally get the call. I don’t bother trying to talk him through it on the phone, it would be faster for me to just go over there and sit at the computer and fix all the tinkering. And so I do. And I ask:

“So, did you have anyone “fix” this for you?”
“Well, I did have someone here yesterday to look at it, I didn’t want to bother you.”
“You didn’t have them call me?”
“No, should I have?”
This is where I point out that the servers he has set up will not allow him to mail out and the POP3 is not set for this MX. “Yeah, you should have.”
“Why? It is only an email account…”
And thus the talk about mail relay and how to get around it.

Thus is how I then spent two hours fixing his accounts and resigning passwords because he told some else the passwords he was using. (BTW, he has about 60 emails for him and employees. He is a rather busy beaver, changed them all!) So, a little ego thus killed an afternoon.

The worst part of this is if he had not done anything at all it would have all come back the next day. Turns out that the server was under a DOS attack and nothing was coming in or out. Fixed that and low and behold, everything is peachy again, except the tinker bug had already infected my friend. Ego told him it was a simple fix, that the computer must have goofed somehow and that he could fix it. Ego would not let him admit he could not fix it. Ego and a rebellious nature.

I knew what he had done, why it was not working, he’s done it before. After all the talks that I run my mail a bit differently, after telling him time and time again that if it worked once on the computer it will always work because a computer is stupid. After explaining to him the errors that happen in a system are almost always human errors, not the computers fault, he still thinks he is smarter than me in this regard and can “fix” anything. How do you deal with this? I would never tell him how to run his business, their he is king, but he is no computer geek or guru.

This time I slapped him on the nose a bit and waited a couple of days before going over to fix the problem. He was without email for four days total, all because he would not let go of his ego and let things just stand and straighten themselves out. I guess we all do it, but wouldn’t it good if we could all just let of the ego once in a while and admit we do not know everything. I know I try not to fall into the trap, but, once in a while, there I am doing something stupid because I will not ask for help. Call me stupid too.