I mentioned in my last post that my list of friends was in self-cleaning mode. I really think this is the case and you know what… it doesn’t bother me any more. It is just a phase of life, we gain friends, we loose friends, and our skein of interpersonal relationship change like dew on a web.

But I got to thinking… is there a way to hasten the cleansing along?

I remember a time when I was younger. I had a friend Howard, or at least I thought he was a friend, who I would call on the weekends and we would do things. Sounds like a normal friendship, right?

Well, one day I was thinking, and wouldn’t you know, I was the one doing all the calling and work in the “friendship”. I decided to wait and see how long it would take him to all back. I waited, a day… a week… a month… a year… A DECADE… and even to this day 22 years later, I am still waiting.

Needless to say, I did not wait a decade before writing off the friendship, and it was not as long as a year either. In fact, I figured that if three months passed and no call, that was a clear message. I did not get upset, I just accepted it and put the friendship on the permanent back burner. I always left a bit of room in my mind that if there were a really desperate situation and they could not call, that if they did someday, I could re-open the relationship, but maybe an explanation would be in order.

I am happy to say that today, there are no friends left in my list that I am waiting on. For the most part the ones that have not called have not done so in a very long time. The people I care about right now have all called and that is a good feeling.