In the last entry I mentioned that “don’t tell me these teens did not know they were committing arson and about to heavily burden someone who relied on that van” and pretty much glossed over the human toll. Not only is my girlfriend having to find a new car, the burnt one had sentimental value that can not be replaced.

It is illogical and totally natural that some people anthropomorphize certain important item in their lives. In the case of my girlfriend she named her van (a Ford AeroStar) Vinnie and gave it the plates VNOGH. Vinnie VNOGH was important to her because it allowed her to do the things she needs, haul the stuff she wanted and accompanied her through several life changes and addresses. So when the car was torched, you may be able to understand how much it hurt. She had to face the fact that something dear to her was literally burnt to ashes without so much as a goodbye.

So today was spent doing the things one must to recover a loss, dealing with the towing company, dealing with the insurance company, talking to the police and fire investigators. But the hardest part… Claiming Vinnie’s remains from the tow yard. While this was not as hard as identifying a body in the morgue, it was just about as traumatic to visit the hulking remains and search for anything salvageable. Hell, the only reason we knew for sure that this was her van (it was so badly burned) was from the one remaining VNOGH plate. In this case there was a whole set of valuable, one of a kind, tiles within and none survived. So we poked and prodded the burn heap and recovered one ceramic saucer; that was all that survived. The end of an era for my girlfriend brought about in hellacious flame and torture.

Seem too dramatic? Think again. Have you ever had stuff stolen from you? Did you not feel violated? This was not just a car; it was a means of transportation and a symbol of freedom. This was what was violated and my girlfriend felt every bit of it. I mean I can understand, I have had valuables stolen from me before and it makes you feel sick to your stomach when you think about it. There are the times you go to get something and then remember it was stolen and it all comes back. Eventually you look at it as part of life, but it takes a while.

The saddest part of all this is even if the kids that torched her van are found there is nothing they can do to ease the emotional suffering they have inflicted. Sure we can talk about stringing up the little monsters by the thumbs (or other more painful parts according to my girlfriend), but this does not remove the pain of the loss. We could take the parents to court and make a claim against them for the value of the car and the items in it, but this is just money and not much for satisfaction when it comes down to it.

Taking a vengeance just acts as a justification to let the violence out we are feeling for the loss and acts as a temporary bandage until time mellows the more painful aspects of the crime. Vengeance is hardly a cathartic act, but is really understandable.

So what are we to do? Well, nothing other than get past it and move on with our lives. Eventually there will be a new car, there will be new items to replace the burnt old ones and the memories will mellow and time will heal the wound leaving another scar on our emotional psyche. We will get past it and shudder every time we see a car fire or another Vinnie on the street. But eventually it will be, “Yeah, I had one of those. They do a great job hauling everything you need.”