My recent entry “Too Much Sex?” garnered an interesting comment of quality vs. quantity of sex. Is there such a thing as quality sex? What are the criteria? Is it something that can be quantified and analyzed? Do you need to get a consensus? How would you go about the consensus? Is there an experience angle?

I mean really, can certain lovers be that much better at sex than others? Can quality sex make up for a lack in quantity?

The Phoney:
Well, I can only speak from experience, and yes, there is a quality to lovers. Some of the women that I have met who told me they were “experienced” and “good between the sheets” have actually been the more boring lays I have had. One in fact claimed she could “ride a cowboy all night”, turned out to be one of those that just lay there and expect to be serviced. Tell me guys, is that a quality lay? She was hot, don’t get me wrong, nice body, firm and fit, but is that really all she needs to make her experienced?

The Enthusiastic:
Then there was one that was shy and demure, and boy could she fuck. For being all of 20 years of age (I was 21) she was one of the best lays of my life… she screamed, she thrashed, she crammed me into her with all she had… she was a freak… I loved it, and it went on all night. Exuberance in this case was really sexy and she made up in primal abandon where technique may have been lacking. Is this quality?

The Dangerous:
I have written about Diane before, so if you do not know the Diane stories (and there are a few left to tell) roll back and take a look. What she brought to the sexual table were dangerous situations. I mean from strictly a technique point of view she was very good as well, but add to that the spice of “getting caught in the act”, literally, well that added to the experience and ranks her as some of my fondest sexual memories.

The Technique Master:
Want to know something, I have never met a technique master, but I have heard a lot about these very accomplished mattress dancers. I have met some that claimed to be masters at the sexual arts (and if you don’t thing that there is something to master in terms of technique, you are wrong), some better at the shear act of coitus than others, but never a master. (I think I would know when I did.) For me the technique master would know exactly how to create the pleasure you BOTH. She would need to be empathic (or very good at reading her lover) and make the experience one that would be a great memory. Quality in this case would be everything to her. Rushed when needed, slow and languid when called for, looking for that overall great sexual experience. Never met one.

The Heartfelt:
For me there is something to the fact that when making love and it is truly “making love” and NOT just sex. I try for that whenever I have sex, it makes the experience better for me. But to know that the one you are with is in love with you, and you are in love with them and are consummating your share adore, it makes for an incredible session of love making. And that is quality no matter the technique, danger or exuberance.

The X Factor:
There are several things I would consider an “X” factor in love making. The first one would be “the mental state”. The “Psycho Bitch” is a great lay, but is it worth it. Second would be “desperation”. Isn’t sex always better after a long time of not having it? Third, the sort of inverse to “desperation” or “Hello” sex, is “Good Bye”. You know the kind… you and your lover are going to be parted and so you want to leave each other with a great memory. Forth is “spite sex”. It is hard to call this one sex, it is close to rape, but it is hard, you just want to give it to them hard, fast, rough, and for some ungodly reason, it is exciting and memorable.

I am sure there are other factors, if given about 5 seconds I could come up with more but I think you get the point. These are all qualities of sex. So when someone says “quality sex” I am left to wonder what quality. Each of these is different and needs to be judged on it’s own merits.

For me “The Phony” is just not what I want. But there is no telling what others may want. I can see where some guy would want a woman to just lay there and give access. If he is inexperienced or shy, this non-threatening situation would be perfect. So there is a type of everyone, and quality would be highly subjective.

So back to the question of quality vs quantity. For me I like both. For me quantity is a quality all it’s own. I guess it comes down to individual preference like all things, but I would love to know, do you really value the quality fuck more than the quantity of fucking? Is there really a payoff for a really good lay? And if you did get that great bang, wouldn’t you want more of it? So isn’t the quantity of really good sex important too?

Fuck me, I want to know!

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