There are so many things that can kill “the Right Moment”, that to list of them would only scratch the surface of possibilities… but let’s try a few anyway.

The cat crawls on your back and decides you’re her new scratching post.

Your pants drop and there is a giggle.

Your pants drop and nothing happens.

In any circumstance that you hear “You want to put that where?”

Your engaged in great breast play and she sneeze chunks all though your hair.

You find a green bean with a bite taken out of it in you girl where it should not belong. (Think about this one a moment.)

Unexpected and powerful diarrhea, either of you.

A real ripper that blows the candles out.

Her water breaks.

Cops at the front door.

Rover decides to join in.

You find three more stains on the bed you are sure are not from you.

Brown skids on the blankets

You feel the condom break.

You notice that the birth control pack is full.

There is a person hiding in the closet (or maybe that won’t stop things.)

Crackers were not the best choice for food play.

The bottle will not come out. (either way, any way)

Mouthwash hurts in the wrong spots.

Head banging with real heads.

She keeps doing her nails.

In the throes of passion you are inform your mother died.

“What do you mean your only 15?”

You hear, “Mommy, I gotta barf…”

The curtains catch fire from the candles you knocked over.

The Vulcan Ears are just not doing it anymore.

Your mystery lover turns out to be your long lost sister.

Too much tooth.

Too much tooth on you too.

TV is more interesting than you.

Aliens outside the window.

The anchor bolts pull out of the ceiling.

Your partner wants to catch the IM that just dinged on the computer.

Delusions of being Fellini while filming it.

Speaking of Fellini, clowns, any clowns.

Chris Mathews voice from Hardball.

One too many Lisinoprils.

A picture of Richard Simmons.

Richard Simmons.

She asks “How do I look?” in baggy sweats.

Your hot date, turns out she has a package.

Mr Right was Ms Right. (Possible these days)

“Is it good for you?” 20 times, and no, it ain’t any more.

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