For the longest time I had a self-image problem. I know why I had the self-image problem, I was over-weight and out of shape. To me I thought this made me unappealing to all women, so I undertook to shed a couple hundred pounds, and I did. As my weight came down my self-image got better, but I thought that I was still not palatable to most women. Turns out I did not know what women really were looking for in a guy.

Now, I know that this is not true for all women, but it turns out that they want someone who is as real as they are. Does this mean that I had to be an Adonis for them to want me? No, in fact I will never be that bodybuilding he-man I thought I had to be to be with women, all I had to do was be confident that I was acceptable and then considerate.

You know that old saying, men will never understand women, I think that may well be true. My assumptions were all wrong and they were wrong because they were shaded by the media and other misinformation that we all hear all day long. Just as women long to be the models they see in the magazines, us men get these preconceived notions into our heads of what we have to be as well, we just do not make it obvious to others.

We also think that in order to be a stud we have to bag all the “10”s in town and that doing so will make us into what our egos want us to be. So we strive for the elusive “10”s and forget there is a whole world of other available women around and willing to accept us for what we are, not a “10” either.

There is a lot of excitement out there, and once I gave up trying to figure out what women wanted in men (or me) I started having a lot more fun.

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