Beside the “W” Spot, how do you handle all those other things that can make a mess in the bedroom? Whipped cream, banana peels, chocolate syrup, limp cucumbers, popsicle sticks, flavored undees, popcorn, watermelon rinds, dirty dishes of all types, beverages bottles and cans (used to drink from or other activities), lubricants, message oils, chicken feathers (don’t ask), shredded pieces of apparel, candle wax, body paints, confetti, ribbons and bows, shackles and leather ties, blindfolds, other people, scuba gear, resuscitation equipment, and all sorts of other assorted toys, can get in the way of a peaceful afterglow. Some are more easily handled, you just kick them off the bed and worry about them in the morning. Others are problematic and need to be dealt with immediately.

I guess this is similar to the “W” problem, but in some of these cases you really do have to deal with it right away. Take whipped cream for example. Ever spend the night covered (or at least partially so) in whipped cream? It gets all sticky and itchy and all in all a rather uncomfortable experience to sleep with (although there is something else more common that is sticky and itchy to sleep with, but hopefully you have that cleaned up too.) For me, time for a shower at least.

Other items used in fun-play can be downright dangerous to sleep with. Ever wake up in the middle of the night gagging on confetti or chicken feathers? These little pieces of joy get everywhere and are so easy to breathe in during sleep, they can literally kill you. Seems that the old wet/dry vac should be somewhere nearby to that you can save you life.

Once, I remember there was this 18 volt Hitachi personal messager in the bed and it was defective. I rolled over and got a shock of a lifetime. Talk about you electro-stimulation, I nearly donated a sample right there and then like some prize stallion. Not a comfortable experience, believe you me.

One of the more common things listed above were food items. Well, there was this tuna sandwich that was left out by the bed and the next morning it reeked to high heaven. Now I made a bad assumption that it was my lover and asked her to take a shower. I never saw her again. So, aside from the health risk decaying food can have, it is also not very good for your love life and must be cleaned up immediately.

So, my suggestion, clean up the mess as soon as possible. Aside from the health and danger risks, cleaning up some of those stains can be a real hassle once they set in.

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