Miasma Of Musings

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Posted by HarshawJ in Musings
on Friday, February 03, 2006 10:02:06 PM
in a "bouncy" mood.

Standards

I guess I have learned a new lesson, and that is that one must be true to ones own standards. What does that mean exactly, well I guess that you will have to figure that one out for yourself. But for me it means that the people I get involved with in more than a superficial relationship have to be people I consider people of quality.

I know that this may sound arrogant, but I only want good people around me. People who are as selective as I am; people who know what they want too and are willing to say what they want. I like people that are open minded and honest, willing to accept me for me as I accept them who they are.

This may sound like a no brainer, but I think that a lot of us do not discriminate as we make new “friends”. We take what comes along and after we have formed an opinion we then either keep them or toss them. The problem with this is if we let part of ourselves become attached or vulnerable to this new friend we are setting ourselves up for heartbreak when we find out that this person is not what we think.

Now I know what you are thinking, how can we know if this person is or is not someone we wish to associate with if we do not let ourselves get to know them? Well, there is no easy answer to that one other than to say let your gut speak to you. You have intuitions, feelings, listen to them. This is not easy, it takes practice because sometimes our inner voice is not loud but more of a whisper. But we need to learn to listen to it.

It has taken me some time to trust this inner voice, but what it tells me about the new person in my life is something I have to listen to because it is usually correct. The harder cases are when my inner voice is wrong. This is when I tend to get my heart ripped from me and end up in a whimpering puddle of self-pity. But that is what I have a brain for and that tells me that I have to pick myself up, dust myself off and get started again.

So, I listen to my inner voice, the bearer of my standards.

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Comments

Posted by TxRose on
Sunday, February 05, 2006 08:02:11 AM

There are many levels of friendships though too - wouldn't you agree. While I surround myself more directly with positive folks who are often creative and share many of the same interests as myself.

There are those, too, that I have met through the net. Some of them, I have allowed them to become closer to me me; most of them, I have continued to set up my distancing mechanisms.

Through my blogs, I have several levels of friendships as well.

I am pickier about those who I allow to get much closer to know me through and through.

Posted by HarshawJ on
Thursday, February 09, 2006 12:02:30 PM

Of course there are many types of friendships... and not all of them require the vulerability that I think applies here... You can have passing friends, casual aquaintences, and others that come and go through life.

When you apply the net to the equation, you find that the net is a whole new condom. It allows you to add new levels of friends, chat buddies, email friends, etc... and then we can be more selective on who we meet IRL.

But we are all being selevtive in one form or another through all relationships. Even those that remain just chat buddies, we have made a selection.

- JB